Continuing our series on the “Enemy Behind the Line“, I wanted to spend some time on one enemy I see challenging every Christian, especially Christian Men; that of coveting.

The other day, I was driving to an appointment and found myself mesmerized by a car in the other lane.  I know this sounds pretty crazy, but I went so far as to pick the color I would want this vehicle in, how it would ride, what others would think… before too long, I realized I had spent about five minutes in a dream about this vehicle.  Ok, so that part was lusting for the car of my dreams, but coveting sure jumped on board quick.  How so?  The car of my dreams was being driven by a kid who could not have been more than 18 years old.  THIS WAS A $52,000 vehicle?  (Can you sense the rage?)

So what is coveting?  Coveting something is to feel immoderate desire for that which is another’s.  Of course we all know it is one of the Ten Commandments referenced in Exodus 20, but why is it so dangerous?  Why is it considered one of the enemies behind the line? (If you have followed any of the posts in the “cartoon section” of my blog, you would most likely bet I am about to use one of the cartoon or Pixar movies as a metaphor.  If you guessed this, you’re right!)

I love the movie Nemo for so many reasons.  It shows so many sides of the human character, all while making you laugh at how truly “sheep-like” we all tend to be.  One of the characters, or group of characters, I love to watch own the screen with just one word: “MINE!”

If you think about their behavior, you will remember how consumed they become with getting whatever it is they have their eyes fixed on.  When they are trying to get Nemo and Dory, some of them fly right into the sail of a ship, but never stop saying “Mine?”

Coveting is very much like this.  It is an elusive, addiction-forming drug that starts with only a drip into our spiritual blood stream.  Before long, it is all we can think about or every time we see this fixation, we are consumed with envy and conspire ways we can get “it.”  It could be something as simple as an outfit, or something as complex as a house in “that neighborhood.”  Before too long, our flesh begins to pine for it and our mind is obsessed with “it” and will not rest until we have “it.”

We are called to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind and strength.  If you strip this verse down, it is simply the first commandment.  So why does coveting cause such strife not only in our minds, but our lives?  This intoxicating sin replaces God from the throne of our lives and replaces Him with an “it.”  In no short order, we begin to worship an idol.  Not the little wooden ones, but the ones of this world, made by us: money, position, house, spouse, fame, prestige, honor, attention, and the list could go on.

Unfortunately, most of us do not realize we are coveting when we do it.  We may simply wisk it to “wishful thinking.”  Despite our attempts to dress it up, we have to call it what it is and pray through it.  One verse I try to focus on in an attempt to keep this behavior in check is the verse from Luke 10:27, “love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind and strength.”

Think about the things in life you want most.  If Christ and His will are not at the top, you are most likely looking into the eyes of one of the enemies behind the line.

If you liked this post, you might want to check out the others in this series:

Unforgiveness

Regret

Self-Reliance

The Lie

Have new posts delivered right to your email, click here.
Subscribe to Christian Men-Christian Warriors by Email

//

About the Writer:

Trent Cotton has spent a number of years in management and business consulting. After spending some time in the field, he joined the HR department, beginning in recruiting and eventually serving as the Department Head of HR for one of the major lines of business. With such a varied background, he works to bring all of these together to help churches and other Christian organizations incorporate some common business practices into their ministries to enable them to better serve the Kingdom. He currently works for SourcePointe, an HR Outsourcing Agency while continuing to own and operate Christian Management Consulting as a ministry. In his free time, he also writes a lot on Church Development as a Church Consultant.

As a husband and father of three, Trent Cotton has a passion surrounding the role Christian Men are to play in their families, communities, churches and businesses.  This particular blog is dedicated to helping men take back the role that we have lost in society.

http://christianmenchristianwarrior.wordpress.com/2010/03/11/enemy-behind-the-line-coveting/

Continuing our series on the “Enemy Behind the Line“, I wanted to spend some time on one enemy I see challenging every Christian, especially Christian Men; that of coveting.

The other day, I was driving to an appointment and found myself mesmerized by a car in the other lane.  I know this sounds pretty crazy, but I went so far as to pick the color I would want this vehicle in, how it would ride, what others would think… before too long, I realized I had spent about five minutes in a dream about this vehicle.  Ok, so that part was lusting for the car of my dreams, but coveting sure jumped on board quick.  How so?  The car of my dreams was being driven by a kid who could not have been more than 18 years old.  THIS WAS A $52,000 vehicle?  (Can you sense the rage?)

So what is coveting?  Coveting something is to feel immoderate desire for that which is another’s.  Of course we all know it is one of the Ten Commandments referenced in Exodus 20, but why is it so dangerous?  Why is it considered one of the enemies behind the line? (If you have followed any of the posts in the “cartoon section” of my blog, you would most likely bet I am about to use one of the cartoon or Pixar movies as a metaphor.  If you guessed this, you’re right!)

I love the movie Nemo for so many reasons.  It shows so many sides of the human character, all while making you laugh at how truly “sheep-like” we all tend to be.  One of the characters, or group of characters, I love to watch own the screen with just one word: “MINE!”

If you think about their behavior, you will remember how consumed they become with getting whatever it is they have their eyes fixed on.  When they are trying to get Nemo and Dory, some of them fly right into the sail of a ship, but never stop saying “Mine?”

Coveting is very much like this.  It is an elusive, addiction-forming drug that starts with only a drip into our spiritual blood stream.  Before long, it is all we can think about or every time we see this fixation, we are consumed with envy and conspire ways we can get “it.”  It could be something as simple as an outfit, or something as complex as a house in “that neighborhood.”  Before too long, our flesh begins to pine for it and our mind is obsessed with “it” and will not rest until we have “it.”

We are called to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind and strength.  If you strip this verse down, it is simply the first commandment.  So why does coveting cause such strife not only in our minds, but our lives?  This intoxicating sin replaces God from the throne of our lives and replaces Him with an “it.”  In no short order, we begin to worship an idol.  Not the little wooden ones, but the ones of this world, made by us: money, position, house, spouse, fame, prestige, honor, attention, and the list could go on.

Unfortunately, most of us do not realize we are coveting when we do it.  We may simply wisk it to “wishful thinking.”  Despite our attempts to dress it up, we have to call it what it is and pray through it.  One verse I try to focus on in an attempt to keep this behavior in check is the verse from Luke 10:27, “love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind and strength.”

Think about the things in life you want most.  If Christ and His will are not at the top, you are most likely looking into the eyes of one of the enemies behind the line.

If you liked this post, you might want to check out the others in this series:

Unforgiveness

Regret

Self-Reliance

The Lie

Have new posts delivered right to your email, click here.
Subscribe to Christian Men-Christian Warriors by Email

//

About the Writer:

Trent Cotton has spent a number of years in management and business consulting. After spending some time in the field, he joined the HR department, beginning in recruiting and eventually serving as the Department Head of HR for one of the major lines of business. With such a varied background, he works to bring all of these together to help churches and other Christian organizations incorporate some common business practices into their ministries to enable them to better serve the Kingdom. He currently works for SourcePointe, an HR Outsourcing Agency while continuing to own and operate Christian Management Consulting as a ministry. In his free time, he also writes a lot on Church Development as a Church Consultant.

As a husband and father of three, Trent Cotton has a passion surrounding the role Christian Men are to play in their families, communities, churches and businesses.  This particular blog is dedicated to helping men take back the role that we have lost in society.

http://christianmenchristianwarrior.wordpress.com/2010/03/11/enemy-behind-the-line-coveting/

A Breaking Point

Life has been busy lately.  I’ve felt the weight of the world on my shoulders (well, more like on my chest….I get short of breath when I’m stressed out).  Nothing in particular has been more than what I think I should be able to handle.  Sick kids, but not any more sick than they have been before.  A hectic schedule.  Friends and family members in need of prayer.  For some reason, though, all the things in my life that were pushing the very breath out of my lungs starting ganging up on me and I felt I couldn’t handle one more day of parenthood.

Life lesson: call a grandma.

My husband called his parents and asked how quickly they could meet me at a halfway point between our homes (an hour for each of us) and take home one little girl with them for a couple of days.  We were on the road within half an hour.  I knew that a few days with “Nana” and “Boppa” would be just what a crabby/insubordinate  little girl needed.  And exactly what a frazzled mother needed–a small break.

Small Blessings

One of the blessings I wasn’t thinking about when I was arranging my little “break” was the time spent alone with my youngest daughter.  Beautiful and fun aspects of her personality showed themselves when it was just the two of us.  I realized how I had wrongly assumed some things about her.  I.e. I had diagnosed her with the attention span of a housefly, but discovered that her “inability” to stick to a task has more to do with her desire to tag after her big sister than her lack of attention span.  I always knew that she was an observer, but was surprised to hear her tell me about memories she held in her little 2 1/2 year old mind.  She must just never take the opportunity to try to talk over her big sister.  I truly enjoyed all the little moments we shared in our time together.

Rest and Refocus (You didn’t think my other “R” was recreation, did you?!)

My small break was not without some looking inward and finding myself guilty of wayward behaviors that surely were contributing to my parenting burnout.  (I had been wavering between blaming it all on my kids and just blaming it on the blanket lie that I was “just a bad mom.”)  I know all too well that God doesn’t burden us with hopeless guilt, but I was allowing that to be one of my cop-outs when things weren’t going well.  Over a couple of quiet days, I felt the Holy Spirit convicting me of anger.  Proverbs 29:11 plainly tells of my foolishness: “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”  When my children needed consequences, I was too easily giving full vent to my anger.  The consequences might have been the same as they always are, but I knew in my heart that my anger was overflowing in my words and body language and I wasn’t even trying to keep myself in check.  I spent the following day praying for strength and discipline so that I could display the fruits of the Spirit, not the fruits of foolishness.

Assurance

Another thing that I beat myself up over regularly is my weakness.  Make that weaknesses.  I only have two small children and somehow I find myself burned out and depleted.  Someday, God willing, we might have more children in our family.  Can I just not handle it?  Am I just not cut out for motherhood, even though in my heart I feel so called to it?  Why am I SO WEAK?

Today I reminded myself how seriously I carry the responsibility of raising Godly children.  Whether I have two children or ten of them (Lord help me!), I will always pour everything that I have into it.  I have high expectations for the kind of mother I should be.  I have high expectations for my children (within reason, I believe).  I never take for granted that my children will just “turn out”; I never excuse or ignore behavior just because it’s age-relevant for them.  I’m certainly not perfect (read above), but I take my job very seriously.  I work hard.  Sometimes I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Sometimes I become so convinced that my parenting must be completely ineffective that I want to throw in the towel.

And then God reminds me that in my weakness HE is strong.  I know I have to work hard.  I have to keep at it when it seems like nothing is working.  Sometimes I have to ask for help.  From my husband (of course!), from family, from friends, from God. Because I cannot always do it on my own strength.  And hopefully, if there comes a day when my children grow into Godly women, I will remember Who gets the credit.

http://mercymorning.wordpress.com/2010/03/10/r-r/

“But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.”    Hebrews 3:13 ESV

Photo by Abby Jenkins

How often we need encouragement to see that we’re making progress in our marriage.  Today we want to help you see how far you’ve come.

At the end of each year our Pastor will ask the same question:

“Think of where you were this time last year, and look at where God has brought you this year?”

It is always a good reminder that although we may not see progress day by day, we are changing.  Growth is often not evident when you’re looking too closely.  If you look further back – certainly you will see that some of the struggles you were facing 1 – 5 years ago are not an issue today.  God is perfecting you for His glory!

Take some time to think about a specific area of change you have noticed in your spouse.  Then, purpose to encourage them with what you’ve observed.  We all need to be built up in our faith – what a joy to do this for the one we are closest to in this life.  Not only will they be encouraged, but your kind words will help them guard their hearts from being deceived by sin – that’s a promise from God’s Word, and one we can cling to with faith!

http://theromanticvineyard.wordpress.com/2010/03/12/freebie-friday-encouragement/

Yesterday, Tom shared his practice of offering a soft answer whenever I’m angry or having an emotional meltdown.  I wanted to share with you my side – being the recipient of Tom applying this scripture to our relationship.

First of all, it would be good for you to know in the beginning of our marriage, this wasn’t the norm.  In fact, Tom would not usually offer a “soft” answer;  It was more like a “silent” answer!  We were both quite adept at shutting down completely when it came to conflict. Rather than deal with the issues, we would sulk, ignore them (and each other) and hope the next day would be better.  One time the conflict went on for nearly a year!  It was not a fun season, and it certainly didn’t glorify God.

God in His great mercy and kindness has helped us grow in our knowledge of and obedience to the Word of God, and it has spilled over into how we treat each other. 

Tom is not only my husband, but he is my closest friend.

He sees me at my worst and rather than react to my sin, he gently helps me apply God’s Word.  This isn’t always welcomed;  in those moments I would much rather give full vent to my feelings.   Yet, I have learned to trust him and follow his lead.  His soft answer has kept me from going down the path of least resistance – the place where all kinds of division and conflict flow.  This isn’t the path that will lead us to where we want our marriage to be 10 years from now.

By God’s grace we aren’t where we were 30 years ago.  We have grown, and it is only because God has been at work in us – completing what He’s started!  May our story give you hope that even though you may not see quick progress, God is doing what He does best – changing us for His glory one conflict at a time.

http://theromanticvineyard.wordpress.com/2010/03/11/where-weve-been/

Because I obviously love you too much.

http://thepittfamily.wordpress.com/2010/03/10/for-christopher/

The magazine. Not your neighbours or relatives.

I have not seen a copy of “People” in maybe years. It is just as tacky as ever. I can’t imagine a better example of what has gone wrong with culture. It`s about…people you have no reason to know (famous and rich),… people who are desperate (an issue on people losing weight because as one subject said, `No one ever told me I was cute.`)…people who are trivialized after fighting hard for freedom, their lives, or justice (because you can`t cram a long struggle into three pages, with photos.)

I don`t know why is this one of the most popular magazines ever. It is not educational, instructional or enlightening. It`s junk food for the brain.

I wonder if this is just what people want. It`s much easier to live your life on the surface, concerned about appearance, clothes, fashion, fame, attention and sex. It`s about soap opera story lines – the ones on television, the ones acted out in celebrity lives. People is about making up a life, not living one.

Real life can be pretty boring. It`s laundry. (I`ve got a load of clothes to fold, and I must reassemble the vacuum before the day is out. Yes, I took it apart. I had good reason.) Real life is dirty diapers and dishes to wash, and the end of winter, with the yard looking like a buffalo wallow. Real life is rather boring doctor`s appointments. (`Can you see this – can you see it now…`)

But there is something in real life that you won`t find in People. True love. Spiritual strength. Lasting friendship. Laughter over pork chops for dinner. The gift of being ordinary and out of the spotlight. God made us ordinary people, while making us extraordinary, when we turn back to Him and look for real life there. We don`t need a fabricated life, or to live out our days in other People`s lives. God finds us interesting enough to be with us always.

http://magdalenaperks.wordpress.com/2010/03/10/avoiding-people/

This is a good question we should ask ourselves often:  Where do we want to be 10, 15 or 20 years from now in our marriages?  Once you have a clear vision in view, the next question is: What choices am I making today that will help me get there 0r prevent me from getting there?

Far too often we react in the heat of the moment instead of choosing carefully our responses to our wives.   Most women are more emotional than men, although I am not ashamed to admit I tear up quite easily.  But I have learned through the years when Debi is having an emotional challenge not to react to her, but instead calmly lead.

Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

It’s not easy staying calm in the midst of a heated moment, but God has helped me speak softly.  I can testify the word of God is true!  Many an argument has been diffused when I’ve chosen to speak softly.  Loving our wives involves being willing to defer rather than conquer.  I don’t have to go after every challenge and prove myself.  My task is to represent Christ by the way I treat my wife.  Certainly this doesn’t mean peace at all costs – there are times to confront and correct, but that’s another post.

For now, this is the road I’m choosing to follow – how about you?

http://theromanticvineyard.wordpress.com/2010/03/10/where-are-we-going/

http://foomibman.wordpress.com/2010/03/09/purpose-place/

Raising Incredible Kids is looking for a Web Programmer who is willing to volunteer their skills to create a RIK website. Email us at raisingincrediblekids@verizon.net if God is leading you to help out.

http://raisingincrediblekids.wordpress.com/2010/03/09/web-programmer-needed/