So yesterday he asked me over the phone: "you really believe I’m gonna marry you huh?"

I was silent for a couple of seconds. I even forgot what I answered immediately, but I eventually told him that I feel as though I’m playing the final game of the World Cup and that I know that if I want to win I have to give it all and risk it all. Was that too bold of me to say? He said he understood but that it could lead to major heartbreak. I told him “what’s a heartbreak?” haha. We both know what that is. We’ve both experienced it in the past. He answered: “Months and months of depression”.

About two weeks ago he told me was planning to talk with my father again. They spoke some months ago and although I don’t know what was spoken, I did later find out nothing concrete was agreed upon because nothing major happened. But this time he kind of implied it would be a more serious talk and with more solid points and possibly plans for the near future. He also said that some of the things he was going to tell my dad he couldn’t tell me. Scary, but I trust him.

I think he knows how deeply in love I am with  him. I love his confidence and just how sure he is I’ll take him any day haha

One important thing he told me was that although he was going to speak with my dad and possibly my mom later (he did in fact), this would not mean anything would happen in the very near future. By ‘anything’ I think he meant engagement.  But he also told me that he wanted to be very clear with my dad that he was willing to walk through if any door does in fact open up. He literally said it like this: “Karen, if a door opens up, I want  you to know I won’t be dragging my feet. I’m going to walk right through it.”

So here I am, sitting, waiting, praying, and yes, wishing. I have so much to figure out right now. I’m 21, well 22 in a few months. I am absolutely enchanted with the way this man has treated me these past two years. I’ve seen his walk mature and just blossom; his friendship has been one of the most precious things God has given me.

Many times I get super duper scared if I actually am the girl of his dreams. A few nights ago a friend of ours told me HE (my he lol) told him (our friend) he’s unsure if he has the character needed to lead a family and to be married. My heart melted as I imagined HIM saying those words. I believe our genuine desire to love each other the way God wants us to has been the driving force in our friendship. Slowly but surely, we’re learning to put aside selfishness and become more obedient to God, out of love for Him first, but also out of love and respect for each other.

Oh how I wish I could post a picture of him and me here soon. 2010 could be it. Who knows