Does your man deny his porn addiction?

Does your man guilt you into overlooking his porn-viewing habit, even pushing you to accept or approve of it?

My ex-boyfriend threatened to end our relationship if I didn’t come to terms with the idea that porn might just be a part of the rest of his life. I wasn’t ‘accepting’ him; I was ‘judging’ him and trying to ‘change’ him. Those were his accusations agains me when I pleaded repeatedly for him to get help. He told me I was the one who needed help; I was too sensitive. This sort of thing wouldn’t bother me, he said, if I had healthy self-esteem. My words for it were different. He was cheating on me. It was hurtful, it was unloving and wrong.

Something didn’t sit right about his explanation of the whole thing, so I started talking to people. I searched the Scriptures for answers and the internet for support. I learned that he’s far from being the only Christian guy in denial about sexual addiction. The numbers are, sadly, huge. Promise Keepers has reported that 70% of men have a weakness for porn, and 40% of pastors struggle with viewing porn online.

During my research I also found people, like the guy in the video (below) and the writers at Promise Keepers, who see the problem objectively and call it what it is. Lust is widespread and it is sin. And it wreaks havoc in the lives of wives and girlfriends, and everyone else who’s life it touches.

If your husband or boyfriend denies the real effect of his porn addiction on you or on himself, don’t let him guilt you into supporting his addiction (or habit or whatever he may call it). If he’s not ready to give it up, the last thing on earth he wants is to hear that he’s hurting you, that he’s dealing with an addiction, and that it’s a serious problem, so he’ll use manipulation or intimidation (or both) to make you buy into his fantasy that everything’s okay. For your sake and his, please don’t let yourself get caught in the lies that are already entangling him. It is absolutely wrong, and it’s perfectly natural to feel hurt.

If you need to vent or if you’d like encouragement from someone who understands, please don’t hesitate to comment here. I’d be glad to hear from you and help any way that I can.