Self Worth

I look around me at all my friends, who have just become single moms, and I wonder what we are doing wrong?   Why are the marriages failing?  Since I have never been married, I couldn’t say I have a clue.

Don’t get me wrong… I am glad to be single, and not in a horrible relationship.  But the truth is, I sometimes would like to be loved and hugged by someone of the opposite sex, who isn’t less than 4ft and calls me moma. 

The problem is, I just can’t gather the courage to run out there and join the dating world.  I wonder if it is because my son is much older, and I don’t want to spend what little time we have after school and homework away from him… or maybe it is because I know what kind of man is really out there. 

I think the last is it…

I have watched friends date, get married, and now divorce.  8yrs of this cycle!  I don’t think I can do it. 

I did date for maybe 2 or 3yrs, but the men ended up still married but separated, or a fixer-upper.  I just don’t have the patience for one of those, and I respect marriage too much to get caught up in one that isn’t mine.  But wow!  Some of my friends are out there, and taking on all that crap!  Some are even sitting around waiting for their boyfriend to divorce their wife!!!!  -Wha!!??? 

I just don’t get it! 

After months and months of dropping those extra 180lbs of dead weight, they go out and get themselves another pile of dead weight.  I can’t stand it and can’t be supportive anymore.  I can’t hear about the drama… it just makes me angry.  It disgusts me.  I feel like such a horrible friend, but I can’t watch these beautiful and talented women/mommies destroy themselves and the families. 

What has happened to us women!?   Why are we settling?  When did we forget that we are the precious daughters of the KING of kings?  When did we lose our self-worth?

I know I have lost a bit of my self-worth, because I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see. 

It is time to change!  It is time to take my life back!  I want to hope again, and have courage again.  I want to show my son that life is more that what we make it >> that, it can be better than we could ever dream when we have God in he driver’s seat!  I want my son to have a Godly father on Earth that can show him how to be a good husband.

This is my desire! 

But first I will work on me.  I need an accountability partner… when left to myself, I slack off =(     

This is where I am right now.  I had to get it off my chest. 

If you are listening -please pray for me <3

HugZ