Not now God, I’m eating.

Ten months ago I would have never believed you if you had told me that I would be successful with weight loss.  Further more I would have laughed if you had told me that this journey of losing weight would bring me closer to God.  Less Karen = More God!

For me this is exactly what happened. No, I don’t believe that the skinnier you are the more Godly you are.  In fact being Skinny can become an idol for many.  For me eating was my idol.  Instead of going to God with my whole life,problems and all, I turned to food , either overindulging or abstaining. it was my way of having CONTROL.  Often when God was pursuing me ardently, I answered him with “Not now God, I’m eating.”

Even if you have never had issues with food, you may recognize the sentiment.  “Not now God, I’m working on my career.  Not now God, I am raising children.  Not now God, I’m studying.   Not now God, I am out the door to church small group.  Not now God, look what you did to me. It is all so hard and unfair!” It all is the same,  it is self centered thinking rather than God centered thinking.  It doesn’t always have to be an ungodly pursuit in itself to be warped to our own purposes.

How great is it that God does pursue us with more patience and tenacity than any earthly lover ever would.  I was a girl interrupted by God’s grace.  I started to tell him not now God … and he said “Be still Karen and know that I AM GOD”  I am so thankful that He loves me enough so personally!

^{2 corinthians 10 :4-6}

⁴For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. ⁵We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, ⁶ being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.

Because He loves me, I am working on taking every thought captive.  Turning to him rather than a chocolate biscuit… ummm chocolate biscuit.. err, wait a second.. back on track again.  I am not saying this is easy, You all would be able to see right through that one.  It can be dang hard at times.  This is a lifetime of bad thought patterns that I am battling changing.  Without God I don’t think I could do it.  Since I am building trust in my Father God,  it is getting easier each time to resist and turn my thoughts on Him.  I do struggle when the scale isn’t matching what I think I deserve for the work I have put in, but then I am reminded that you don’t always want what you deserve.. what’s that bad egg smell and why am I being smushed into a hand basket?? Is it getting warmer in here? 

Weight Watchers vital statistics : current weight 179.7 lbs ( 12 stone 11.7 lb or 81.5 Kg) this is a total loss of 59.1 pounds (4 stone 3.1 lb or 26.8 kg) with a “mere” 29.7 lbs (2 stone 1.7 lb or 13.5 kg) to go.