Father’s Put Down the Xbox and Raise Your Children

 Some of you may notice that I stole, I mean borrowed, I mean adapted the title of this article from another article[i] written on another blog this week. The point of the other article was that young men needed to step up to the plate and get involved in missions. More women are serving overseas and that is not a slight majority, but it is by a substantial margin. I read that article at the same time I was thinking through this post. The two ideas collided together and somewhat intertwined. Yes I agree wholeheartedly that young men need to step up and get involved in missions. The same is true in our local churches. Typically the women serve more than the men. So it is not surprising that the young women who have been so influenced by the faithfulness of their mothers are going overseas. Which brings us to another conclusion: Men put down the Xbox, turn off the ____________[ii] game and raise your sons according to God’s standards. Become more concerned about the character and godliness of your sons then how good they do on the ball field. 

The passage that this thought collided with was (1 Timothy 3:4 ESV)  He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, For some it may be easy to see this passage as well as 1 Timothy 3:12 as referring to only Elders & Deacons. Since it is listed in the qualifications for both it pertains mostly to them. But that is completely backwards. Paul is not saying that this is something that is peculiar to ministers and deacons, he is saying that this is what ought to be happening in the home and for those that are not following the commands of Scripture as head of the family they are not worthy to hold any official office in the church.

Over the past several weeks I have done a lot of reading, teaching and writing about the role of parents and fathers in raising their sons and daughters. In addition to this we are looking at a lot of passages in regards to Elders and the biblical role that they play. When we look at various passages we find that to some degree the head of the household (Fathers) serves as a Pastor to the family. Just as a Pastor is responsible to Shepherd[iii] the flock of God, so the Fathers are responsible to Shepherd their families. There are some similarities in the roles of fathers and pastors. For this post I will break them down to three areas of importance.   

1. The importance of knowing sound doctrine. The Pastor must know doctrine and be able to correct those who are erring. The one that does not know sound doctrine and has no desire to learn it cannot fill the pulpit by God’s standards. We find this in (Titus 1:9 ESV)  He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it. In the Old Testament Moses commands the people in (Deuteronomy 6:6 ESV)  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. & fathers are instructed in (Ephesians 6:4 ESV) Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Obviously instruction cannot take place without a sound understanding of doctrine. What would happen in the church if the fathers took seriously their responsibility to know sound doctrine? How would that impact the family? How would that impact the marriages? This does not negate other people, (men who are not fathers, women and children) from needing to grow in the knowledge of the Word. But when the head of the household devotes himself to knowing the Word of the God, to practicing it and teaching it the impact is far beyond what we could imagine or think. Similarly there are dangers that arise if the head of the household does not take this seriously. Read Ezekiel 34:2-6[iv] to see what happens when the sheep have no shepherd & than to the judgment of the worthless Shepherd[v]. This is certainly true in the church of God, but how many times have similar consequences like this taken place in the Christian home because the head of the family did not Shepherd the family.  
2. The importance of teaching sound doctrine. 1 Timothy 3:2 says that the Elder/ Pastor must be able to teach. The Pastoral Epistles[vi] are full of other examples about exhorting, reproving and teaching people how to live in the household of God. Likewise (Deuteronomy 6:7 ESV)  says You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. Parents and especially fathers as head of the house are entrusted with the awesome privilege and responsibility of teaching their children and those in their home. More info here.
3. The importance of practicing sound doctrine. The life of the pastor needs to be exemplary. Pastors are called to lead the church by example in holiness, righteousness & faith. 1 Timothy 3:2-3[vii] teaches this as well as the words of (1 Timothy 4:12 ESV) that say Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. For our counterpart for fathers we will travel to a place not expected. In Psalm 101 David is talking about singing to God, acting with justice and not looking on anything that is worthless. At the end of verse 2 he says that “I will walk with integrity of heart within my house.” This shows the importance of setting a good example to everyone in the family. Other passages of Scripture that would go along these lines would be Genesis 18:9[viii] and Joshua 24:15[ix].  

All three of these things should be a natural outflow of a life in Christ and that is abiding in Christ. Obviously these things will take time, effort and sacrifice. We may need to put some things down that we would enjoy, but the kingdom of God and especially those in our own house are well worth it. Seek the counsel of the Lord from His Word on how to apply these truths to your life and family. In addition to that we may need to seek the wise godly counsel of others that are doing these things in the home to help mentor us along the path that God desires.

May the Lord by His grace and mercy turn the hearts of the heads of the household towards their homes and the people (wives & children) in the house towards the men leading![x]

 

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[i] http://www.cbmw.org/Blog/Posts/Men-Unplug-Your-Xbox-and-Plug-Into-Global-Missions    Men: Unplug Your Xbox and Plug Into Global Missions. Accessed June 30, 2009

[ii] If you live in Canada insert Hockey;  if you live in the US insert football,; if you live anywhere else insert Soccer.

[iii] Shepherding referring to the roles of protecting, feeding, guiding & caring.

[iv] “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy, and say to them, even to the shepherds, Thus says the Lord GOD: Ah, shepherds of Israel who have been feeding yourselves! Should not shepherds feed the sheep? You eat the fat, you clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fat ones, but you do not feed the sheep. The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the injured you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them. So they were scattered, because there was no shepherd, and they became food for all the wild beasts. My sheep were scattered; they wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. My sheep were scattered over all the face of the earth, with none to search or seek for them.  (Ezekiel 34:2-6 ESV)

[v] Then the LORD said to me, “Take once more the equipment of a foolish shepherd. For behold, I am raising up in the land a shepherd who does not care for those being destroyed, or seek the young or heal the maimed or nourish the healthy, but devours the flesh of the fat ones, tearing off even their hoofs. “Woe to my worthless shepherd, who deserts the flock! May the sword strike his arm and his right eye! Let his arm be wholly withered, his right eye utterly blinded!” (Zechariah 11:15-17 ESV)

[vi] The Pastoral Epistles are 1 & 2 Timothy and Titus. Written by Paul during his first and second Roman imprisonment to fellow pastors to give encouragement and instruction about the church.

[vii] Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. (1 Timothy 3:2-3 ESV)

[viii] For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice, so that the LORD may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.” (Genesis 18:19 ESV)

[ix] And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the LORD, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” (Joshua 24:15 ESV)

[x] And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.” (Malachi 4:6 ESV)