Falling - with Style

“That wasn’t flying! That was falling with style!”

~ Sheriff Woody, Toy Story, 1995

If South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford ever spoke at Bob Jones University, I don’t know about it. It’s no great leap to assume Sanford has spoke at BJU – after all Sanford is a) Christian, b) Republican and c) a “family values” oriented politician. Three necessary ingredients to allow one to speak at the “Fortress of Faith.”

As a student at BJU, I remember being regaled by the unintelligible speeches (to those of us born north of the Mason-Dixon Line) of South Carolina Senator Strom Thurmond who was a) Christian, b) Republican, and c) a “family values” oriented politician.

Of course, now we know that these two politicians have something else in common –

– keeping “It” in their pants.

Governor Sanford is probably aware of the fact that, according to statistics, Christian marriages are as likely (more likely, according to some stats) to end in divorce as pagan (“non-Christian”) marriages. Gov. Sanford may take some comfort in the fact that he’s following in the foot-steps of many a Christian man – “be fruitful and multiply” and then go find another hottie to bonk.

So it was just a matter of time before someone came up with the comparison that Governor Sanford is like the Old Testament King of Israel, David.

[For those pagans out there who have never heard the Bible account of David – David was lounging on the roof of his palace one day when he spotted another woman bathing. Seeing this naked or nearly naked woman tuned David on, so he had to have her. And David did – repeatedly. David later admitted his mistake, apologized and asked for forgiveness – but David never resigned as King of Israel. That’s the Reader’s Digest version of the story.]

If you want to read why Christians and Christianity has fallen into the abyss of idiocy and worthlessness, read this article on CBN.com.

Adrian P. Schoonmaker, the writer of the article, repeatedly tells us:

“Yet I am proud of Mark Sanford.”

“Still, I am proud of Mark Sanford.”

“I am proud of the governor…”

“Today I am proud of Governor Mark Sanford…”

“As for me, I remain proud of Mark Sanford…”

Schoonmaker, a Christian (Assembly of God), is proud of Governor Sanford, not for the Governor’s successful marriage, family and career – not for how Governor Sanford could be the next “family values” flag-waver for the GOP – not for how the Governor set aside his duties of the State and spent Father’s Day with his four boys grilling burgers in the back yard – but for how the Governor admitted his failures.

In other words, this Christian man is a great Christian because he fails correctly!

But maybe failure is the true essence of this religion.

Schoonmaker says, “King David whispers to the Ted Haggards [had a homosexual affair] of this world, the Jim Bakkers [had an affair & ripped off many, many gullible people who thought they were giving their money to a “man of God”] of this world, that there is hope for redemption.”

“Redemption” in this case means “moving on as though nothing happened.”

This must be why men like Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, Robert Tilton, Ted Haggard, Oral Roberts and Richard Roberts can repeatedly fool and swindle their gullible flocks – doesn’t matter what they do – there’s no accountability as long as they “fall with style.”

I’m not sure that the Governor Sanford affair is analogous to the Old Testament account of King David’s sin. First of all, just how many wives did David have? Can we safely say “more than one?” And how about those concubines? Not too many state governors have a gaggle of concubines – well, not since Arkansas Governor Clinton and his “Bimbo Eruption.” Another difference is King David had his lover’s husband killed. I don’t think Governor Sanford has killed anyone. King David never gave up his lover, Bathsheba, but had more children with her. One son, Solomon, became Israel’s next king and the world’s wisest man – although Solomon had “seven hundred wives…and three hundred concubines…” (I Kings 11:3) Not sure how that makes Solomon so wise.

So, Mr. Schoonmaker, rather than saying, “it’s okay – David did it”, I find it disturbing that statistics show virtually no difference between pagan and Christian marriages. Governor Sanford is just a high profile example of another professed Christian that claims the indwelling of God’s Holy Spirit and the guidance of Christ’s teachings –

– and then lives his life like every other pagan.

Makes one wonder if any-Thing is there at all…

There is virtually no difference between the imaginary and the invisible.