Being A Part of God’s Cleansing and Healing.

I wonder how you would react if you pulled up outside your home only to find your dear wife sat in the middle of your yard, head and shoulders lowered sobbing out loud?  She is covered from head to toe in dirt and mud and is obviously hurting and forlorn.

Would you quickly stop the car and run to her aid?  Would you want to know what happened, how she got hurt or hurt herself?  Would you want to know what happened to her?  What if she couldn’t tell you what happened?  What if she was too distressed or too embarrassed to tell you?  What if  all she can do, amidst the tears and sobbing, is to promise you that it wasn’t her fault and that she isn’t too seriously hurt and to ask you for your help?

Would you carefully help her to her feet and carry her inside?  Once inside, would you carefully lovingly take her to the bathroom, lovingly undress her and helping her into the shower or the bath gently, lovingly, carefully, washing her clean?

And when you noticed the cuts and the scratches and abrasions on her body would you gently, lovingly, carefully, clean and dress them?

Would you then take her to the bedroom and sit holding her, helping her to calm down, encouraging her, comforting her, reassuring her?  Telling her it is alright and that she is safe now and that everything will be ok?

I sincerely hope that the answer to all of the questions about how you would respond to your wife’s needs would be a yes or that you would do something equally loving anc caring to help her.  Would you?

How about we change the picture just a little?

How about this time instead of your finding her sitting in the middle of the yard forlorn and sobbing, she is in the kitchen still all covered in dirt and mud, still with minor cuts and scratches and abrasions on her body, but this time she is ranting and raving and throwing a tantrum and really, really mad at herself because she tried to do something herself (something that you had said you would do perhaps) and it all went really wrong?  You ask her what happened and she tells you and she also tells you that she knew she shouldn’t have done it but tried it any way and is now covered from head to toe in dirt and mud and scratched and cut is now really beating herself up over it all?

What would you, how would you respond  do this time?

Would you still try to calm her down?  Would you still take her and wash her clean and tend to her minor cuts and abrasions?  Would you still comfort her and reassure her and tell her that everything is going to be alright?  Would you tell her to stop beating herself up over it all and perhaps turn her across your knee and spank her and then tell her, “Ok I have dealt with it.  You messed up and have been disciplined for it and it is all dealt with.  Now it is time to move on and to start repairing things”?

Interesting questions aren’t they?  But what happens when the mud and dirt, when the cuts and scratches, the abrasions and wounds are all on the inside?  What happens  when the situations causing this dirt and mud these stains, the situations that caused the wounds all happened long before you even came on the scene?  What happens when they are causing behavior and attitudes that are mild or drawn out and not so urgent or noticeable?

What if what you are really facing here are years and years of hurting and corrupted perceptions and self-hatred or at best a lack of self worth.

See here’s the deal.  The plain simple fact is that we were all born into a raised in a perverted, sinful and corrupt world and the truth is that without Christ and God and the Holy Spirit in our lives we all live badly and wrongly and we have all experienced things in our lives that God never desired for us to face or experience.

Sometimes, some of these things can deeply impact us and can cut wounds that remain with us for a long time and which do alter and affect the way we see ourselves, others and indeed the world (and sadly even how we see God).

But when we accept Christ in our lives, when we give our lives to Christ and fully accept His love and guidance and healing we avail ourselves of the “newness” that this offers and I truly and fully believe that He desires to lift us into His unshakable hands, to wash us clean and to tend to and heal our wounds and to wrap us in His love and protection.

And here is the rub for all of us HoH’s.  I am convinced that it is a fundamental primary role within our servant-leadership as a Christian husband and Head of House to bring about and be a major part of that cleansing and healing for our dear wife’s JUST as they are part of God’s cleansing and healing for us.

Let us be of no mistake or misconception here.  True the situation may not appear as urgent as finding our wife sat sobbing and forlorn in the middle of our yard, or upset and distressed in the middle of the kitchen and true the mud and dirt that stains them may not be totally visible or the cuts or abrasions or scratches – the wounds of this world, as readily noticeable BUT trust me that doesn’t make them any the less real or important or indeed urgent in their need for attention and healing.

So I challenge you and commend you as a Christian husband and HoH, to reconsider your role and the immensely important gift and responsibility that our Lord has given you in your position as HoH and I ask you to consider your dear wife and to consider what dirt and mud from the past may still be trying to cling to her, and to consider what wounds may still be affecting her and stopping her from seeing just how precious and pure and beautiful she is in God’s eyes and from realizing the cleansing and healing that He desires for her.

Will it require patience and understanding, love and compassion from you to her?  I have no doubt it will!  And will there be a personal cost to you in all this?  Of course there will be.  But both God and your dear wife are worth it!

And I challenge and commend you dear wives out there.  How about trusting and allowing your Husband/HoH to be a part of the healing and cleansing God wants you to have?

Will it require your stripping yourself totally naked (physically or emotionally) and standing before your Husband/HoH and allowing him to see everything even those parts you have hidden for so long and are most protective or embarrassed about?  Yes it no doubt will.  And yes it will require your fully opening up and allowing him to be a part of that healing.  But let’s face it, Christian marriage is a relationship where BOTH of you are one in the Father and where the Father has placed or blessed each of you into each other’s lives because He desires for you to minister to each other.

I am convinced that part of the husband’s role is to be a part of God’s cleansing and healing for the wife and part of the wife’s role is to be a part of God’s cleansing and healing for the husband.  So there are my challenges for today.

Will you allow each other to be a part of the cleansing and healing that God desires for you and are you willing to stand and be a part of the healing God desires for your partner?