Now Sampling: Daily Bites for Parents

By Lisa Cherry

I haven’t met a mom yet who’s told me she knows everything there is to know about parenting.  We all have room for improvement.  That’s why I am convinced that our new Daily Bites for Parents will be a blessing to you.

I wrote about this recently, and now I’m reposting a few of the recent “bites” for you to sample.

Who would not want to take one minute or less per day to strengthen and increase her parenting skills? I am reading mine every morning….. Because I constantly need my parenting focus sharpened!

Subscribe today and start receiving a new bite tomorrow morning.   Please forward this bite to a friend.

Here’s your first sample:

Daily Bites for Parents:  High Five

Kids never out­grow their need for appro­pri­ate phys­i­cal affec­tion.  Even a strap­ping 17-year-old needs a good high five or a pat on the back from Mom and Dad.

How do you eat an ele­phant? …One bite at a time
How do we increase our par­ent­ing skills? …One bite at a time …One minute a day.

Subscribe to Daily Bites for Parents here.

http://frontlinemoms.com/2011/12/09/now-sampling-daily-bites-for-parents/

Sixty-Second Solutions: The Tech Basket

Parenting is hard work.  Period.  But it’s even harder in today’s sexualized and technologized environment.  Equipping and protecting our kids–while pushing back on the encroachment of ubiquitous technology and pervasive pornography–is a daily challenge that requires tools and strategies.

As part of our purePARENTING ministry, we talk about “the ABCs” of prudent technology use: accountability, boundaries, and controls.  Communicating boundaries is particularly important for cultivating virtue, self-control, and godliness in an age of instant gratification.

In this edition of Sixty-Second Solutions, marriage and family therapist and pureHOPE Dallas advisory board member Rhett Smith talks about the benefits of implementing a “tech basket” as one boundary for you and your kids.

See Also:

• Sixty-Second Solutions: Vigilance
• Our Vision for purePARENTING
• Talking to Your Teen About Sex

http://purehopeblog.net/2011/12/08/sixty-second-solutions-the-tech-basket/

Anger Management #278

Verse of the day:

“A fool gives full vent to his (her) anger, but a wise man keeps himself (herself) under control.” Proverbs 29:11

I have been struggling to keep my anger under control this week. When I speak my children act as if they didn’t hear anything. If you are a mom you know how frustrating that can be. I try to stay calm, get down on their level and make eye contact so they know what I expect of them. But there are still many times when my instruction is ignored, which leads me to frustration and anger. I don’t really have a solution to this problem except to pray for patience and earnestly seek wisdom and hold tight until they are old enough to move on to the next frustrating behavior they will hit me with.

I’m pretty sure being a parent doesn’t get any easier. They say having an infant is the hardest part. I respectfully and wholeheartedly disagree! It gets more trying by the day. Today, in order to save my children from losing their mother to the depths of insanity, I am praying for patience beyond comprehension and an appropriate outlet for my anger. Lord, hear these prayers and come to my rescue!!

http://alittlerr.com/2011/04/20/anger-management-278/

Chutes and Ladders #279

Do you know the objective of the game Chutes and Ladders? Let me break it down for you. Get to the space marked “100″ on the game board first. If you land on a space with a kid acting naughty you have to slide down a Chute to a lower number. Conversely, if you land on a space with a child doing good you get to climb a ladder to a higher number.

My kids love this game- mostly because they love every game in which they get to compete with someone and beat them. That’s a boy for you…

I thought a bit about the pictures on the board while I was playing with them. One child got into the cookie jar, another stole a toy, and another broke something that didn’t belong to him. All of these spaces cause the player to slide down a chute to a lower number.

On the other hand there were children playing nicely together, one that made cookies for a friend and another that was reading a book. The spaces allowed the player to climb up to a better space.

Does anyone else see a tiny little lesson in there somewhere? Our actions speak louder than our words. Even though it is a silly game for preschoolers, Chutes and Ladders can actually teach a few Biblical principles if you really look at it.

Matthew 5:16 says, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven.” When your actions are sinful, you don’t point others to the Father and you may even bring them down. But if your actions are good and righteous, you will show others the light of Christ in your life.

It may be a stretch for some, but I think this whole world is infused with biblical principles. We just have to dig for them. After all, God did create it all. He probably put his “stamp” in more places than we can imagine.

http://alittlerr.com/2011/04/19/chutes-and-ladders-279/

Phoenix: "Leftovers" or “Chosen?”

By Lisa Cherry

My last two Acquire the Fire events have been astounding. Not that I haven’t seen God do some amazing things with the POTTS (Parents of Teens and Tweens) before. But the meeting in Phoenix was remarkably similar to the amazing meeting in Anaheim I had just a few weeks ago. In both of these cities, a key word transformed our parent meeting. The word was “REMNANT.”

When I was a kid I used to go to the fabric store with my thrifty and frugal grandma, Mom Renshaw. Mom seemed to rarely shop for her fabrics on the full price rack. She was always looking for a bargain. So it is not surprising she found amazing uses for those little rolls of material they kept in the bin at the end of the sales counter. “Why look here, Lisa. This is such a nice piece and it is marked down to a great price,” I can still hear her voice echo in my memory. I personally wasn’t a big fan of those odd looking little rolls tossed rather carelessly in the pile. I preferred the carefully categorized fancier bolts down the main aisle for my new dress selection. But Mom Renshaw would just smile knowingly and assure me, “Lisa, this will do just fine.”

Maybe that’s why the word “remnant” has always felt so negative to me. Leftover. Bargain-basement. Cheap. Those are the words I hear in my head when I read “remnant.” So when I first sensed the Lord calling me to study and speak on the concept of His “remnant” on the earth, my little girl side wasn’t initially thrilled.

I have heard it said that the Lord always preserves a group of His people upon the earth. He always has His folks set apart to do His work even when the masses refuse to go His way. They are His REMNANT. Obviously, those who make the remnant are special. They are not like the leftover odds and ends tossed in the cut-rate bin at the fabric store. They are the ones with the special assignment. Perhaps I need an upgrade to my thinking. Instead of thinking “leftovers” I need to think “chosen.”

What if God is assembling His remnant in America today? What if that remnant is not the castaways, but instead, the chosen few who have not aligned their lives to other projects? What if the remnant is the main piece, the one of highest worth?

As I pondered these thoughts aloud with my new POTTS friends in Anaheim and Phoenix, a new penetrating question emerged. Are we, fellow parents, aiming out families intentionally for the remnant? Are we discipling our own offspring as if they will need to stand alone for the God whom they serve even in the midst of a culture (and sometimes church) gone mad? Are we raising the next generation of leaders equipped, passionate, and powerful in His Kingdom?

The Holy Spirit showed up in power as we fellowshipped over these deep questions. His presence was so apparent, we could sense the thickness of the air. Time seemed suspended, and no one moved from their seats as we wrestled the next question on our heart. Lord, what must we do to prepare? How do we aim our kids for the remnant? And Lord, how long do we have for this assignment?

Friends, I do not have all the answers to these deep questions yet. But I am sobered, and I am humbled. God is calling to those who have an ear to hear. The hour we live in is extremely critical…..and our choices can impact a generation. So…are you aiming your family for the REMNANT?

http://frontlinemoms.com/2011/12/07/phoenix-leftovers-or-chosen/

Slow Down, Going Too Fast!

I was one of those children who constantly fell and skinned my knees. I would have scabs on top of scabs, and because I injured the same places, they took some time to heal. I still have scars on my knees as reminders of those many falls. As I got older, I became more coordinated, but I must admit that I have never been what one would call graceful. Yet the falls mainly occurred because I was going too fast. I moved ahead of the ability of my feet and legs to balance my body.

We have three grandsons who all began walking in the past few months. It has been fun to watch (one by video) each one navigate the world on two legs. They have teetered and fallen, gotten up and fallen again. But they haven’t given up! They are so proud of themselves when they reach the outstretched arms waiting for them! What if they had given up when they fell repeatedly? What if they had refused to try walking again because it hurt when they fell?

Our older grandchildren are 6, 4, 3 and 2 – 2′s. They all enjoy running outside, which greatly pleases me. Still I find myself reminding them to “be careful”, “slow down” and other warnings that come to mind. I don’t want them to get hurt, especially when running down hill and going too fast. Recently I watched as one started down the path to the barn at a run and no sooner had I said ” SLOW DOWN” then they fell and skinned their hands and knees. I wanted to prevent their painful fall, yet it would mean denying them access to much of the world around them

As parents we want to protect our children from harm, especially from things that hurt us when we were young. Yet, we are powerless to prevent all of the possible injuries that loom in our childrens’ futures. We can encourage them to slow down and be careful about choices they make. Helping our children learn to slow down may prevent impulsive decisions which often lead to regret. Helping our children learn this at a young age will serve them well throughout their lives.

James 1:19-21 (NIV)                                                                                                                                                                    ¹⁹ My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, ²⁰ because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. ²¹ Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

As our children get older, going too fast can be a big concern if they….

• drive too fast
• behave sexually “too fast”
• get angry too fast

The above verses encourage us to be “slow to speak”, and “slow to become angry.”  Wouldn’t our world be a better place if we ALL did that? Let’s decide to slow down and model behavior that honors our Heavenly Father and shows a positive example to our children.

http://ourfathersdaughters.wordpress.com/2011/12/05/slow-down-going-too-fast/

Triple Play Tuesday!

Woah… I am all over the place today!

Lace up your walking shoes and come take a tour with me…

FIRST STOP, Christian Work At Home Moms (aka CWAHM)

I’m discussing how we need to be intentional in pouring God’s Truths into our kids by finding creative ways to bring Him into focus.  When we do, we are taking back the ground that the world (the Enemy) has stolen from our kids.

• We can’t let our guard down because our kids are in a Christian school. 
• We cannot rely on Sunday church to keep them in line.
• We shouldn’t assume that just because we are Christians, our kids will follow suit.

Not a chance.

As parents raising Godly kids, we need to be on point with this struggle at all times.  Come see me… I have ideas to share!

SECOND STOP is at my sweet friend, Heatherly’s blog – A Pinkdaisy Life.

She asked the question: What moves me into the Christmas spirit?

And I bet you won’t be surprised by my answer.

When this certain thing happens, I’m quick to tears because it speaks to a deeper place in my spirit and I sit in awe of the humbling events surrounding the birth of Jesus.

I wonder… what moves you into the Christmas mood?

LAST STOP is at my dear friend Shannon’s blog, Jesus and My Orange Juice.

In this post, I am writing from the perspective of the Prophetess, Anna. Do you remember the part she played in the story of baby Jesus?

Among other things, she reminds us to be patient for God’s promises because He will fulfill.  Heck, she was 84 before she saw hers come to pass.

And I love her excitement when she looked upon the Messiah.  What an honor that must have been!

†††

Whew… I need more coffee.

Why not grab some of your own and come visit me?  Hope to see you soon!

©2011 careyscotttalks.com

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at “Moms Together,” Learn about LeadHer’s mission to equip women to make an impact for Christ.

http://careyscotttalks.wordpress.com/2011/12/06/triple-play-today/

And Another Thing

Prequel: No More Dead Kids

 

The other verse that I couldn’t quite put my finger on yesterday was this one:  Matthew 5:40 – “If someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.”

This verse has a sense of submission to it.  In keeping with Ephesians 5:21 “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”   But Michael Pearl had that excitement.  That challenge.  He wants to be pulled in to court.  He wants to go and have a grand show about him and his book.  He wants the media coverage.  Pride. Not once during the interview did he express remorse over the deaths of those three children.  Not once did he express sadness for that these children and their families have gone through as a result of Michael Pearl’s advice.  True, he doesn’t believe the parents followed his advice, but the parents sure did (as do the investigators in Lydia’s case) and even if they weren’t following the advice correctly, the fact is that they were trying to.  They were trying to do what Michael Pearl advised and they killed their daughter.  But Micheal Pearl has not even once mentioned going back over his book to be sure that the fellowship is what’s emphasized (as he claims) or adding another section of warnings about when to stop if the spankings aren’t working.  He is sure, without wavering, that no bad could have come out of what he wrote.  Arrogance.  There is something very strange, and very unsettling, deep in my soul, watching someone completely unphased by the mention of a small girl having been beaten to death.

And what Christian can hear about what is being done “in the name of Christ” and not feel misrepresented?  Or betrayed by these fellow believers?  Children are dying and being told that the beatings are what Christ wants for them.  What follower of Christ can hear that without flinching? In my life, I’ve seen this from people who have already started reading the publications by Michael Pearl and No Greater Joy Ministries.

The other day I heard that the author of a book I’ve started (and liked) wrote a blog post degrading women.  The post has since been removed, and the author seems to believe that what he wrote was wrong.  But I still see the book differently.  I have a clearer picture (a la 1 Corinthians 13) of the author and his character and his sin.  He’s more human and less idealized and that reminds me to check and question everything he wrote.  Because he is not Christ.  He is imperfect.  I’ve never seen that response from a follower of Pearl.  The adhesion to his principles must be dogmatic and unquestioning if they are to work.  And that adhesion seems to glue those followers to him as well.  Sad.  Because Christ didn’t seem to believe you could serve both him and another person.

http://mamapsalmist.com/2011/12/06/and-another-thing/

The Motivation Behind Our Decisions

Whenever it comes to making a decision as a parent, there is always a motivation behind it.  We may not even be consciously aware of it…but it’s there.

The decisions seem to get tougher as the children get older.  But no matter what age they are, your decisions could be life impacting.  This is what has really gotten me thinking lately about the motivation behind my decisions.

Sometimes when I make decisions, they are made with an assurance.  I have no question in my mind that it’s the right one.  But the motivation could still be wrong.  It could be that my decision was based on fears.  Or it could be that it was based on what others might think.

Other times I make a decision and I have nothing but doubts.  I can spend nights worrying about the potential outcome.  This is really no way to live.

Even with prayer, you can still be left feeling unsure.  And your motivation can still be wrong.

Recently we were faced with a couple of decisions in our home.  One decision was easy to make, even though a child was left unhappy.  The other decision left me with uncertainty but that child was pleased.

In both cases, I started to question my decision afterwards.  I started to think (too much) and then wonder what others might have done.  Here is what I have come to understand after agonizing over these decisions.  If I have taken it to prayer and I am continuing to take it to prayer, I can trust that God will work it out.

I can trust that if I have made the wrong decision, it can be made right.  I can trust that if I have made the right decision, my child will eventually see the reason behind it.  The motivation shouldn’t be in fear, in what others think or even in what I perceive as my own “ability.”

I think the motivation is that I do the best I can as a parent.  I won’t always make the right decisions.  But whether I do or I don’t, I have to entrust the outcome to God.

http://heartofamothersprayers.wordpress.com/2011/12/05/the-motivation-behind-our-decisions/

No More Dead Kids

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Michael Pearl’s interview by Anderson Cooper.  (In most of the country this aired on Friday, but for PST it’s airing right now)
There is just something about the way he leaned forward and whispered, “Go for it.” when AC asked the district attorney if any charges were going to be brought against MP.  I just can’t quite shake that image, and that sound.  Matthew 5:25 says “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court.”  There’s more to the verse, but I want to point out two things.  1.  Michael Pearl’s comment and demeanor in no way reflect that verse.  Challenging an officer of the law to bring about charges (that the district attorney has no intention of doing, for the record) in that sort of cold, excited way is incompatible with the bible that says ‘as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone’ (Romans 12:18) and “Settle matters quickly”.  2.  Matthew 5:25 is at the start of the Sermon on the Mount.  Beginning in verse 21, Jesus speaks about murder and anger.  This juxtaposition is especially chilling because Michael Pearl’s insistence that parents have complete domination over their children and settle for nothing less than instant compliance is what drove the parents using his books to kill their children.  Michael Pearl declares that spanking in anger is abuse, but that spanking sessions that last for hours and eventually break down the muscle tissue to such a degree that the discharged bits of skeletal muscle collect in the organs and kill the child is not abuse.  On TV, he says that if spanking isn’t working, parents should stop.  But in writing, he has expressed a very different opinion on the effectiveness of spanking.  He postulates over and over that anytime spanking seems ineffective, the parent should look inward and blame him or her self.  (and then, of course, spank again)  I won’t link to Michael Pearl from here, but go ahead and google the phrase “a proper spanking should leave the child without breath to complain” and see what you find.  It’s Michael Pearl’s response to what a parent should do if an angry child hasn’t relented and become submissive after a spanking.  I’d like to throw out another definition of abuse: one that includes Michael Pearl’s ideal spanking.

If you’re hitting your child, in any emotion, you have a problem that needs to be solved.

Hitting is abuse.  There are too many other options available to parents that are both more effective, more in line with biblical teachings, and less hypocritical.  And that’s before we begin the discussion about combining the phrase “I love you” with repeated spankings on naked flesh teaches a child.  Ever wonder why our culture is so sexually depraved?  Let’s start with what we teach children about love and pain.

I’m not really on the twitter scene, but I think the hash tag against Michael Pearl really sums things up #NoMoreDeadKids.  Why is this even a debate?

 

Continuing this train of thought: And Another Thing

http://mamapsalmist.com/2011/12/05/no-more-dead-kids/

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