Money, Money, Money

It all boils down to money.  I have heard so many people make this comment.   It cannot buy happiness but, it is a necessary evil.  Yes, an evil.  Because while it can bring out the good in people, all to often it brings out the worst.  Not enough can bring out envy and strife.  Too much can bring out pride and arrogance.  Teaching your children about the value of money is a parental concern of course.  But teaching them the danger of money is one of the most important lessons you will give your children.  In teaching them about the ‘almighty dollar’ you can teach them about the Almighty.

God’s word has many passages concerning money.  God does not treat money as evil.  It is the world that has made it evil.  We need to be good stewards of our children by teaching them God’s views, priorities and standards on money.  Many times we simply read Bible stories to our children, but how often do we teach them a lesson that they can understand?   Here are two of my favorite examples on teaching parables concerning money.

1)

“The Widow’s Mite” Mark 12:41–44 This parable IS about sacrificial giving. I imagine this widow would have tithed her unemployment check, her welfare check and even her food stamps through a food pantry.  However, it is also about HOW you give.  The parable is also saying that “Putting on the Show” of giving is wrong.  Giving and doing for others should be between you and God and not for man.  When you give to impress others, that is your reward.  You’ve impressed them and that is all you will receive. PLAN SOME WAY OF GIVING WITH YOUR CHILD WHERE NO ONE BUT YOU AND THEY KNOW AND EXPLAIN “GOD KNOWS!”  Then ask them to ‘give’ where only they and God know. (See an early post for other ideas about Serving Others.)

2)

“The Parable of the Talents” Matthew 25:14-30; Luke 19:12-28 This parable is about stewardship.  This can be a difficult concept for a child so I suggest a visual lesson.  The concepts are even difficult for some adults.   There are those that think their 10% is so little that it could do no one any good and they need every dime they have.  There are those that ‘tithe’ so much of their time in ‘duties’ at church that they give no money.  They fail to see how they fall into the category of the poor steward.

To teach your child a visual of how little God asks of them you will need three containers.

CONTAINERS:

Banks, Jars, Envelopes, Zip Lock Bags (etc.)

LABEL:

Help your child label them

Words:

1) God, Later, Now

2) Church, Savings, Spending (etc.)

OR

Pictures:

1) Cross, Picture of Jesus, Church,

2) Piggy Bank, or picture of something they are saving for,

3) Dollar sign, picture of something they spend their money on each week

Then each time they receive money from an allowance, birthday gift, Christmas money or whatever the occasion (even if gma/gpa just hand them a dollar) teach them to FIRST put 10% in God’s container, 40% (or more/less) in savings container, and the balance in spending container.  To start your child off you may want to hand them four dollar bills and four quarters (or be a big spender and give them 10 one dollar gills).  When they put 10% (two quarters for $5, or one of the 10 one dollar bills), ask them if they see how little God asks of them.  Explain He does not require, but asks and that it is very little in comparison to what they have left for them.

NOTE:  Pick a Sunday (each week, bi-monthly or monthly) and have your child remove the money they are tithing and place in a church envelope to take to church.  Teach them to quietly place it, face down in the offering plate.  Here is your chance to demonstrate how quietly the widow gave her mites.

SAVINGS: Maybe they want to save for Christmas gifts, the Fair, the School BookFair, a doll or Video game.  Maybe it is longer range savings like for a car or college.  What ever it is, you will help them if you DO NOT change the deal.  If they do not have enough at the time, then they need to WAIT FOR THEIR WANTS.  Of course you must use good judgement, and sometimes a parent does NEED to step in and help when it’s a NEED and not a WANT. Our policy was we paid for their NEEDS just as God supplies our needs.  We also saw to their wants as rewards.

SPENDING:  DO NOT get in the habit of loaning them the balance of what they need at a store because they are ‘short’ for something they WANT.  Tell them they will have to wait.  Also, teach them the joy of saving by using coupons, watching for markdowns. Again, use good judgment and always be there for a true NEED.

ASK YOURSELF:  I always asked my girls ‘why do you want this’?  If it was because ‘everyone is wearing them or has them’  BUZZER – Wrong Answer!  Make sure their wants, are THEIR wants and not peer pressure or fitting in with the crowd syndrome.   The bottom line is, you are responsible to GOD for what your child spends  their money on while they are in your home.  NEVER forget you ARE the parent.  It might be their money, but they are STEWARDS of it and how they spend it must be in accordance with God’s teachings.  I cannot tell you how many parents have said (in defense of their daughter/son wearing objectionable clothing, listening to objectionable music or playing unacceptable video games), “Well, what can I do? They used their money? ”   We are responsible for teaching them that everything we have is from God.  It is all HIS.  He asks for 10% back and you are ONLY STEWARDS of the other 90%.  You have to answer to Him for that as well.

Money – will it be a good thing, or a bad thing in your child’s life?

To me, this prayer by Mother Teresa is the gold standard.  It is the gold standard of parenting.  This prayer describes the kind of Mom I strive to be; the kind of example I hope to set for my children.  And although I fail more than I would like, I aspire to be THIS woman.

Dear Jesus,

Help us to spread Your fragrance everywhere we go.

Flood our souls with Your spirit and life.

Penetrate and possess our whole being, so utterly, that our lives may

Only be a radiance of Yours.

Shine through us, and be so in us, that every soul we come in contact

with may feel Your presence in our soul.

Let them look up and see no longer us, but only Jesus!

Stay within us, and then we shall begin to shine as You shine;  so to shine

as to be a light to others.

The light O Jesus will be all from You, none of it will be ours;

It will be You shining on others through us.

Let us thus praise You without preaching, not by words but by example,

By catching the force, the sympathetic influence of what we do,

The evident fullness of the love our hearts bear to you.

Amen

Amy Pedersen

The Miracle of Me from conception to birth

www.themiracleofme.com

There are two “perfect days” Samuel and I have had over the years… The first was August 4, 2000. We had broken up in April. He was saved in July, and then August 4th, we started dating again. Since then, we have always called August 4th the perfect day. Caroline was born August 11th, and the newspaper headline was “The Perfect Day.”

I am still adjusting to having an infant and a toddler in the house all day every day- still learning how to make everything happen before I crash for the night. Someone asked me last week how the moms at the Ramp do it. How are we full-time moms and wives, burning for God, active on the ministry team, involved in the services, and so on. I wish I knew. The question sparked so many thoughts. Among them are of the perfect day.

My perfectly structured day would look something like this…
6:45 am I wake up after a full night’s rest. I fix a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal and sit down at the breakfast table with my Bible.

7:00-8:00 I am praying and studying the Word while the children are sleeping. The house is quiet, and I can really focus. By now, I have moved to the living room sofa and am sitting in front of the picture window where the sun rises each morning. The sunlight spilling through the trees and fog is the perfect backdrop.

8:00-Lunch The kids wake up and I make them breakfast (and myself second breakfast if chocolate chip pancakes are on the menu). I have to clean the kitchen, which naturally leads into other random household chores. I seem to do these best in the morning. While they watch a movie, I get ready for the day.
After he’s finished eating, I work with William on something educational- his reading cards, numbers, letters, etc. Then, if the weather is nice, we take a walk in the stroller, or if need be, we run errands around town. We come home, eat a simple lunch, and go for a nap-time ride.

1:00-3:00 William should be napping, Caroline is probably asleep too, and I have mommy time. Usually this means laundry time. It needs to mean work-out time if I’m going to be in shape by Christmas production, but that’s another blog another day.

3:30-7:00 I need to start thinking about dinner. We like to eat early, so I’m usually cooking by 4. By 6:30, we’ve all eaten and the kitchen is clean.

7:00-8:00 Bath time for the kids, pj’s, teeth brushed, clothes down the chute, night-time stories read, & lights out.

8:00- bedtime The marathon is over.

This day rarely happens, but maybe just getting it out of my head and into words will put a bit of motivation behind it. Being a wife & mom is a more than a full-time job. Way more. Throw in helping to fuel a great awakening, and it can be a bit overwhelming. But somehow, the grace to just do it is always there.
Right now especially, I can’t make it to all the services, but I almost always watch online. When I do make it to the services, I usually sit in the green room and watch on the screen. It’s not like being in the sanctuary, but it keeps me a part of what’s going on.

The bottom line is that I can do this. And maybe this whole thing is just to tell myself that again (I missed tonight’s service so I could get the kids in bed). There were lots of women who set examples of how to raise children in a home that is burning for God- some of those women raised a lot more than 3 children. The thing that distinguishes the successful Christian moms who raised successful Christian children is simply that they did it. Every day. Damon Thompson defines spiritual maturity as the “consistent application of elementary things.” This is true for successful mothering too. It’s not in having a weekend to cram motherhood in; it’s the every day instilling of structure and prayer in their lives. They are observing so much more than we realize, and we are laying a foundation that the future structure of their every day lives will be built on.

So, what are we teaching our children by our lives- our habits, our free time, our priorities? What does the perfect day need to look like? What’s keeping us from living it? If you are a parent, nothing is more important than making sure that your children see what Christianity is supposed to look like in you. If there’s anything hindering that vision, pay whatever it costs to change it.

My children gave me a revelation.

Becoming a parent is an amazing thing, it gives you great insight into the ‘father’ love of God. It gives you great insight into unconditional love.
But my children gave me an insight into the art of being a follower.

One afternoon, my daughter is begging me for attention.
mum
I’m at my computer, busy with something or other.
muuuuumma

They just wanted my attention. They had done something I had asked and wanted my affection and approval. Some times I cast them aside with a distracted, o wow hunni, or a glance and unenthusiastic yeah.
My girls just want to please me, their world revolves around me.
They imitate me
I see their cute wiggle as they dance awkward and gangly – just like their mumma
I see them licking the last little bits of ice cream from the bowl - just like their mumma
I see giggles, impatience, expressions, mannerisms and flaws – just like their mumma
Because I am their whole world.
I am all they know at the moment and all they want to be.

Maybe that is what the bible means when it says the kingdom belongs to them.
If God was my whole world,
Then I would wake and sleep revolving around Him.
I would do all I could do to please Him.
I would follow and imitate.

God is my Father – and we spend a lot of time thinking about what that means for Him.
I am his child – and that means something for me.

There are two “perfect days” Samuel and I have had over the years… The first was August 4, 2000. We had broken up in April. He was saved in July, and then August 4th, we started dating again. Since then, we have always called August 4th the perfect day. Caroline was born August 11th, and the headline was “The Perfect Day.”

I am still adjusting to having an infant and a toddler in the house all day every day- still learning how to make everything happen before I crash for the night. Someone asked me last week how the moms at the Ramp do it. How are we full-time moms and wives, burning for God, active on the ministry team, involved in the services, and so on.  I wish I knew. The question sparked so many thoughts. Among them are of the perfect day.

My perfectly structured day would look something like this…
6:45 am     I wake up after a full night’s rest. I fix a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal and sit down at the breakfast table with my Bible.

7:00-8:00     I am praying and studying the Word while the children are sleeping. The house is quiet, and I can really focus. By now, I have moved to the living room sofa and am sitting in front of the picture window where the sun rises each morning. The sunlight spilling through the trees and fog is the perfect backdrop.

8:00-Lunch     The kids wake up and I make them breakfast (and myself second breakfast if chocolate chip pancakes are on the menu). I have to clean the kitchen, which naturally leads into other random household chores. I seem to do these best in the morning. While they watch a movie, I get ready for the day.
After he’s finished eating, I work with William on something educational- his reading cards, numbers, letters, etc. Then, if the weather is nice, we take a walk in the stroller, or if need be, we run errands around town. We come home, eat a simple lunch, and go for a nap-time ride.

1:00-3:00      William should be napping, Caroline is probably asleep too, and I have mommy time. Usually this means laundry time. It needs to mean work-out time if I’m going to be in shape by Christmas production, but that’s another blog another day.

3:30-7:00    I need to start thinking about dinner. We like to eat early, so I’m usually cooking by 4. By 6:30, we’ve all eaten and the kitchen is clean.

7:00-8:00   Bath time for the kids, pj’s, teeth brushed, clothes down the chute, night-time stories read, & lights out.

8:00- bedtime    The marathon is over.

This day rarely happens, but maybe just getting it out of my head and into words will put a bit of motivation behind it. Being a wife & mom is a more than a full-time job. Way more. Throw in helping to fuel a great awakening, and it can be a bit overwhelming. But somehow, the grace to just do it is always there.
Right now especially, I can’t make it to all the services, but I almost always watch online. When I do make it to the services, I usually sit in the green room and watch on the screen. It’s not like being in the sanctuary, but it keeps me a part of what’s going on.

The bottom line is that I can do this. And maybe this whole thing is just to tell myself that again (I missed tonight’s service so I could get the kids in bed). There were lots of women who set examples of how to raise children in a home that is burning for God- some of those women raised a lot more than 3 children. The thing that distinguishes the successful Christian moms who raised successful Christian children is simply that they did it. Every day. Damon Thompson defines spiritual maturity as the “consistent application of elementary things.” This is true for successful mothering too. It’s not in having a weekend to cram motherhood in; it’s the every day instilling of structure and prayer in their lives. They are observing so much more than we realize, and we are laying a foundation that the future structure of their every day lives will be built on.

So, what are we teaching our children by our lives- our habits, our free time, our priorities? What does the perfect day need to look like? What’s keeping us from living it? If you are a parent, nothing is more important than making sure that your children see what Christianity is supposed to look like in you. If there’s anything hindering that vision, pay whatever it costs to change it.

The next series of Raising Incredible Kids starts this Tuesday, August 31 at The Crossing Church. Don’t miss out on the opportunity to transform your family. The new curriculum was written for today’s Christian Parents in order to teach God’s plan and design for our families.

Click this link to sign up now. SIGN UP FOR RIK

What is truth? We’ve all pondered that question…even Pilate asked that question when talking with Jesus in John 18:38. What Pilate didn’t know was that he was actually talking to “The Truth.” John 14:6 “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” Think about the irony, Pilate’s asking “what is truth” and Truth is looking directly at him.

Jesus is the Truth and Jesus is the Word (John 1:1), now let’s look at how this all relates to parenting. 2 John 1:4 “How happy I was to meet some of your children and find them living according to the truth, just as the Father commanded.”

As parent’s we are responsible for teaching our children how to discern the truth by going to the Word which is the only measuring device. Does it line up with the Word of God? Does it remain consistent with his teachings? If not, they should reject it immediately.

When our daughter Kelli was 6 years old she came into our bedroom one night and said “I have a question.” (That’s kid code for “prepare yourselves, I’m going to ask you something that is really hard to explain.”) So the question was “Is Santa Clause real?” We love the Christmas season at the Carter house. It’s filled with lots of tradition, excitement and yes Santa is part of it, so my heart sank just a little bit.

But, this was one of those times where God gave me the exact words to say. I asked Kelli why she was asking and she said that a girl at school had told her that Santa wasn’t real and that she wanted to know if she was right. My next question was “Kelli, what do you think?” She said, “Well I wish Santa was in the Bible, then I would know it’s true.” She was 6 years old and she knew that the Word was truth!  I wanted to scream YES!!! I”m getting through to her!!!  It’s working!!! (but I didn’t)  I simply responded, “Kelli, you’re exactly right…if it was in the Bible it would be true.” Then she got a big smile on her face like she just figured out a deep secret all on her own.

12 years later, Kelli is an 18-year-old college freshman who loves Jesus and still seeks the Word for the truth every day.  Yep, it works, you can raise incredible kids!