During lunch we have table tennis tournaments.  Students can sign up to play in the tournaments.  A lot of students are signing up to play.  We have single and double tournaments.  Students enjoy watching these tournaments during lunch break.

Table tennis tournament

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Every wednesday we have chapel day . Today’s speaker was Mr.Schaak!  He is the Head Master of CCA.

Last week I finished reading Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers.  In the book, Christian Smith (a sociologist from Notre Dame) reports the results of the National Study on Youth and Religion (NSYR) which he conducted along with Lisa Pearce from UNC Chapel Hill.

There are two main takeaways I see of vital importance to parents, teachers, and youth workers:

First: The NSYR found that most teenagers’ religious beliefs could be described as Moralistic Therapeutic Deism which I’ve already written about in a post here.

Second: The NSYR serves as another reinforcement that parents are absolutely the greatest influence on their children.  Some studies have reported that this is not the case, but I’ve never been convinced by those reports.  Scripture teaches that parents (not the church, though the family of God is a great assistant teacher!) are charged to be the primary teachers and disciple-makers of their kids.  When writing about the influence parents have on their kids, Smith writes, “We get what we are.”

If you are laissez faire and casual about your faith in Jesus Christ, then don’t expect your children to grow up to be more mature in their faith than you have modeled for them.  If, however, you make prayer and reading your Bible a priority because you love Jesus Christ and want to know Him and serve Him, then that will also rub off on your kids.  We must not neglect the spiritual component involved in salvation and make this into a non-mystical and godless lifestyle, but in general the study has found that apples truly do not fall far from the tree.

What type of example are you setting for your kids?  Do you teach them to respect their authority while you complain about your boss or about your aging parents?  Do you teach them that education is important even though you haven’t studied to learn anything new in years?  Do you expect them to be Christians simply because you take them to church or youth group?

It’s my hope that over the course of this year our youth ministry will grow in its emphasis in equipping you parents to better disciple your sons and daughters to grow in their faith in Jesus Christ.  Discipleship is not simply about “behavior modification” and getting your kids to be “good kids.”  It’s about teaching them about the absolute importance of knowing God and what Jesus Christ has done for them on the cross… and teaching them what that means for their everyday lives.

May the Lord continue to bless you parents who are already doing this with your kids.  May He also inspire others of you to begin this work… it’s never too late!

Today we’re talking about kindness.  Everyone knows what kindness is.  It is the one trait that sends us into our day with a smile on our face.  It is the one trait missing when we’ve been cut off in traffic.  Our roads are certainly lacking this fruit of kindness by the drivers we pass day after day.  But what about our marriages?

Do you treat your spouse with kindness, or more with an “I expect you to be this way,” attitude?  Many a quarrel has been averted by exercising this one fruit of the Spirit.

Here’s an example.  Imagine a Mom having her hands full all day of disobedient children who have accidents, fights and tempers flaring seemingly non-stop since the rooster crowed.  In walks her husband who drops everything to help her finish her day well.  Exhausted they both plop on the couch very aware of each others need for kindness.  Her husband demonstrated a great kindness to her.  Rather than place high expectations of what he needed from her, he stooped to show kindness.  How like Christ, who came to us not to be served, but to serve.  He stooped to show us kindness so we would go and do likewise.

Another example, a father spends an entire day at work being criticized for a job he thought he did well.  The discouragement is compounded when his sister calls reprimanding him for missing their lunch appointment.  He had completely forgotten lunch, but he assured her he never forgets her!  She wasn’t convinced and ended the conversation abrubtly.  Finally this dad heads to his car where he discovers the entire driver’s side has been keyed.  That’s the final blow – he becomes angry.  Driving home only adds to his frustration.  As he walks in the door, his wife has no idea of the struggles he’s faced.  There has been no time to communicate.  Had she known she may have been prepared to treat him kindly, but she knows him!  She knows him better than anyone else, but the question is – will she judge him based on what she knows of him or based on what she’s expecting from him?

These are real life snippets. Each of us face challenging days where trouble piles upon trouble.  It can become a real mess with no real answers.  But kindness provides a soft pillow where the weary can rest their head as they wait for answers.

Are you practicing kindness with your spouse, even when you don’t understand what’s going on?  This is one fruit of the Spirit which we know how to cultivate, but the question remains – are we?

I challenge every couple interested in attaining a deeper relationship with one another to take just these two passages, Galatians 5:22-23, and 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7, and mediate upon them. Decide as a couple to “digest these fruits,” to embrace these ideals and ask God to shine his light of wisdom and insight upon you both as you delve deeper into the meanings behind these enduring truths.

Make a pledge to one another that these are the standards by which you are measuring your relationship. Take them one by one and embrace them without reservation, until you fully understand them and can more easily put them into practice. Be patient with one another, as enlightenment, comprehension and mastery will be attained at your own individual pace (remember that patience and kindness are two of the cornerstones of this formula)!

The quote above is from an excellent article we found on Crosswalk.com by Deborah J. Thompson.  She makes it clear that the formula for having an enduring marriage is found in two sections of Scripture.  They just happen to be the two passages we’ve been studying for the good part of this year; 1 Corinthians 13 and Galatians 5.

So this week let’s look for opportunities to CHOOSE to be kind to one another.  It may just be the cornerstone of the firm foundation needed in your marriage to make it last a lifetime.

My father had a saying that he used quite often. “Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.”

Well, I beg to differ with my father. I’ve done, and I’ve taught. In the end, the reason why I’ve chosen to teach others is twofold.

The first is that, as an editor, I saw a serious need to develop good Christian writers. The message is there, but those who can communicate it effectively are in short supply. That’s what I am here for; to train new troops.

The second reason is that I never got over being a student. I love learning. And I would wager that students who talk to your professors will find most of them in the same boat. Even when we don’t have to, we go out of our way to learn something new. It’s cool, and it’s fun. And I hope that my students are having as much fun as I’m having.

And the reality is, learning never stops if you’re a teacher, nor should it. Consider what’s going on in journalism, in communication, in media, and you increase that tenfold. Every year I’m challenged to not only keep up with changes in technology but turn around and teach them to my students. And more than once I’ve said in class, “We’ll learn this together.”

We’re in the middle of a major overhaul of the way we do things in the communication department. The Southwesterner was probably the first indication of that. More things are coming, though. Exciting things, driven by the massive changes in technology. And these are things that are overdue.

But what’s really cool is that I’m learning as much or more about these changes than my students are. And even though I learn through reading, exploring on the Web, and experimenting, I also learn by just watching my students.

Case in point. An epiphany came to me as I considered e-mail. The school has tried for years to get students to activate their campus e-mail accounts so that important announcements would get to them. But the reality is, most students don’t use e-mail in the same way that adults my age do. E-mail is a necessary evil to them, and often not even that. The reality is: if they don’t have to use e-mail, they won’t.

So how do students communicate? To learn, all you have to do is watch them, or even just ask them. Students use two ways to communicate: Facebook and texting. None of this waiting to get back to your desktop or laptop to communicate with someone. If it’s important, text me. If it’s not important, I will catch it on Facebook. And that doesn’t even consider the impact of smart phones.

They move around in a world that expects the important to find them, rather than them seeking it. They are deluged by information, and really don’t want to go out of their way to get more of it. When you are surrounded by noise, why turn up the volume?

I had a fellow editor at Pacific Press years ago bemoan the fact that so few kids read books. “We have to get more kids to read books,” he said. “No,” I told him. “Our job is not to teach them to read. Our job is to communicate the message to them in whatever method it takes to get through to them.”

And that’s the brave new world, with implications to teaching, communication, publishing and a variety of other disciplines. We are talking, but not to them. And they are listening, but not to us. It’s our job to find the channel that we have in common, and communicate the important message that we have. And often that starts with simply listening. And observing. And learning.

After all, isn’t that what school’s all about?

Here is where we’re at in the schooling arena, I”m posting in case it helps anybody else.

Our oldest, Jonathan, is 5 turning 6 in November; for various reasons we decided to start him in Kindergarten, away from home (not homeschooling).  Our reasons were that due to a possible learning disability, his extroverted and energetic personality and my lack of concentrated time available for him (with 3 younger siblings), home was not the best place for him to learn.  So we signed him up for the (public) Montessori program in Ramona, about 30 minutes away.  He was attending the Mountain Valley Academy two days a week while on the waiting list for Montessori when we were informed that the Escondido school district people did not approve his transfer.  That same day, my younger daughters got sick in the car, because the drive was long and windy, and they were having to make it twice a day (total 2 hours commute time per day).  So, Ramona schools: “out”.

Next, we looked at the public school we are zoned for.  It’s Conway Elementary in Escondido, and I stopped by to chat with a Kindergarten teacher.  I was surprised that the “normal”, one teacher only, class size is 26, while it goes to 34 with two adults. Perhaps I’ve been away from the CA school system too long.  Also, while I very much enjoyed my talk with a Conway teacher, my entire impression of the school was that they were simply treading water trying to keep their heads afloat in the midst of budget cuts and overcrowding, not to mention that something like 70% of their incoming students don’t speak English at all, or well.  Potentially, we could have had Jonathan tested and put into special classes, where the student/teacher ratio is far better and he would get enough help, but we were hoping to see how well he would do in “normal” conditions first.  The final nail in the public school choice?  Apparently Conway is only a 2 out of 10 compared to all the other schools in California.  TWO.  And, they weren’t the worst in the area!  They’re “good enough” so that students in their district don’t qualify for the school choice transfer available to almost all the other schools in Escondido, which are 1′s.  Ones!  The only elementary schools NOT failing miserably are either private or in the rich sections, not a big surprise I guess.

So late on a Friday night Nathan and I found ourselves, in sheer desperation, looking at the private school option.  We looked at the various ones in Escondido, checked prices, talked budget, chewed fingernails (metaphorically , and finally decided to pursue it.  Monday afternoon I was at our first choice, a private Christian one, Escondido Christian School.  We really liked the Christian aspect, as I think Kindergarten is a bit young to expect children to be able to rationally, ethically, know right from wrong when presented with “wrong” from an authority figure like a teacher.  And public school teachers have no choice on what they teach, they must teach the State curriculum.  At the ECS I was heartily impressed by the facilities available (especially right after seeing the public ones!), and by my meeting with one of the Kindergarten teachers, Mrs. Carney.  So, we bit the bullet monetarily and Jonathan started school on that Thursday with Mrs. Carney.

Where are we now?  Well, Jonathan and Mrs. Carney have survived about two weeks now, and while some behaviour issues need work, it seems like he is at the best school and with the best teacher.  For him.  And that’s what we wanted…now we just have to see how God will provide the money!! 

Here’s the picture in Zechariah 2:6-7; Seventy years prior, God allowed his chosen people to be conquered and exiled to Babylon due to their consistent disobedience and defiance. God had said that after 70 years he would end their captivity and would call them back to Judah. In verses 6 & 7 that’s what he’s doing through his prophet Zechariah.They know that God has promised something greater, but many of them aren’t returning. Why? They think it’s easier to just remain where they are because they are content to be dysfunctional.

Sounds absurd doesn’t it, but that’s happening in many families today. So many parents are just content to live in their dysfunction. They know that God has so much more for them. They know that he has called them to be better husbands, better wives and better parents. They know that if they were to follow God’s standard, their families would become dynamic and flourish, but they just don’t follow. Why? Because they are content to be dysfunctional. Listen to the words from Zechariah;

Up on your feet! Get out of there—and now!” God says so. ”Return from your far exile. I scattered you to the four winds.” God’s Decree. ”Escape from Babylon, Zion, and come home—now!”

He’s longing to see you come back to him. He desires to teach you. He desires to give you wisdom and to bless you. Don’t make the mistake of ignoring his call. Ignoring him will kill your family. Look what God says in Proverbs 1;

“Simpletons! How long will you wallow in ignorance? Cynics! How long will you feed your cynicism? Idiots! How long will you refuse to learn? About face! I can revise your life. Look, I’m ready to pour out my spirit on you; I’m ready to tell you all I know. As it is, I’ve called, but you’ve turned a deaf ear; I’ve reached out to you, but you’ve ignored me.  ”Since you laugh at my counsel and make a joke of my advice, How can I take you seriously? I’ll turn the tables and joke about your troubles! What if the roof falls in, and your whole life goes to pieces? What if catastrophe strikes and there’s nothing to show for your life but rubble and ashes? You’ll need me then. You’ll call for me, but don’t expect an answer. No matter how hard you look, you won’t find me. ”Because you hated Knowledge and had nothing to do with the Fear-of-God, Because you wouldn’t take my advice and brushed aside all my offers to train you, Well, you’ve made your bed—now lie in it; you wanted your own way—now, how do you like it? Don’t you see what happens, you simpletons, you idiots? Carelessness kills; complacency is murder. First pay attention to me, and then relax. Now you can take it easy—you’re in good hands.”

Is this you? Have you settled for something less than God’s plan for your family? Be encouraged, it is not too late, he is calling you and he desires to pour out his goodness and blessings on your family!

This is probably because I’m engrossed in teaching. Someday I hope to make it to Japan for a visit but I’m not the type to live by myself in a foreign country and I suspect the idea was an escapist dream at a time when I didn’t like my life very much.

Teaching takes most of me these days and the last five weeks feel like six months. It’s also crazy to think that it’s been a whole five weeks already.

It’s a gift to be able to talk about Jesus to my students. It’s not true education to leave out what is most important to these kids’ souls and I’m so thankful that my mouth if free to proclaim God’s goodness to them. I’m starting to feel more settled in at the school, in my classroom, and with co-workers. So many neat things have happened and so many challenges, too. My first days of teaching have been a crazy tilt-a-whirl experience that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Some days I’m sure I should probably just quit and stop messing around with kids’ heads. Other days, like today, I feel like I’m gonna make it. You know, His grace is enough every day.

It is not uncommon for a marriage that started out on a strong foundation of love, trust and faith to later be found in “troubled waters”. There are a myriad of things that may have contributed to the problems. Things in your marriage may just “not feel right” or it may seem like your marriage is headed for imminent disaster and destruction. Well take hope.

There are 5 secret steps that can take any Christian union and turn it, not only into a healthy and strong relationship, but even into the marriage of your dreams! Because you both love Christ, you will find that by following these secret steps you can have a sweet, exciting and heartwarming relationship in almost no time at all. Are you ready?

Are you both ready and willing to step outside of your comfort zones to have a happy and rewarding marriage? If you both answered yes to that question sincerely, then the successful results you desire are absolutely assured! If only you are willing to do that and your spouse is not, it will be a little harder and take a little longer but, the probability is still very high that the desired dream companionship can still be regained or attained.

It is absolutely sure, that your personal happiness can be regained and maintained. Just follow as many of these secret steps as your can, to the very best of your ability and over time, you will be amazed at the positive results.

Secret Step 1. Regain your perspective. God has given us a blueprint for happiness and joy. Go back to the well of pure enlightenment. Consistently read your scriptures daily with a prayerful heart and an open mind. Look for answers – not answers about what to tell your spouse in order to “fix” them, but look for answers about what you can do personally to better follow and experience God’s plan of happiness.

Secret Step 2. Open the doors of respectful communication. Behind all the troublesome behaviors that your spouse may be exhibiting is still the person with whom you fell in love. The goodness of the person is still there. Start talking respectfully together every day for thirty minutes or some set amount of time. Talking respectfully is not shouting, sneering, snorting or snoring.

Share your fond memories, hopes, dreams, disappointments, feelings (even anger) in honest but respectful ways. Treat your mate during this thirty minutes together as the most important person in your life. Pretend if necessary. But, be genuinely respectful in your communication regardless how poor a job you feel the other person is doing of being respectful. Treat your spouse during this “talk time” like you would treat him or her if Christ himself were sitting there with you both.

Secret Step 3. Relive and renew the fun! Set aside one night every week where you go on some sort of a date together. A walk in the park. A game together. A candle lit dinner. Play your favorite game together. Each week go on a date and do something that at least one of you wants to do. The next week the other should plan the date. If it is the date your spouse planned and you’re not thrilled about it but can still tolerate it, go along and try and help give your spouse an enjoyable time – as a gift.

Secret Step 4. Formalize, communicate and coordinate your plans. Set aside a scheduled time each week – a few minutes where you agree to share with each other your schedules and plans for the upcoming week. Don’t forget to schedule the time for the secret steps.

Secret Step 5. Bring God into your relationship. You both have a friend in Jesus. Invite the Father and the Son into your relationship with daily sincere prayer together.

Now, you may not have ever followed all of these steps any time in your life – even when your marriage was new and beautiful. That’s OK. I absolutely guarantee you, that if you will both follow these steps with sincerity, you will both find joy, happiness, excitement, fulfillment and friendship for the rest of your life. God said “prove me now herewith”. I say the same thing. Click the link below and try these secret steps with sincerity for 30 days and you will discover that the happiness of your dreams can be had with the one you loved on the day you were married. Click the links below to find out more.

Visit Christian Counseling to find great Christian Counselors that will help you enhance your happiness and have a wonderful married life. Please Watch this video teaser of Christian Marriage.