Modesty swim outfits from Wholesome Ware

I don’t smoke anymore. I can barely drink, or engage in other substance. I’ve  been breastfeeding for almost three years, and with a new baby in the house, I have  years more to go. And I’m a vice-driven person.

So, I watch the show 19 Kids and Counting on TLC. It’s the one about the conservative Christian family that keeps having kids. For now, they’ve got 19.

At first, it was like watching a train wreck over, and over and over. Crash. The women and girls are completely covered up. Crash. And they have horrible home perms. Crash. The dad’s name is Jim Bob. Crash.

It’s a total superiority fix for a lifetime, left wing Torontonian such as myself.

Then the train got on track and to my surprise, I started to pay attention. Michelle, the mother, and Jim Bob are so calm, despite having an army of Christian soldiers at home. Someone, be it a parent or an older sibling, is always carrying a baby. Michelle breastfeeds each one. They’re gentle. All the kids play instruments.

The Duggar women and girls wear modesty swimsuits. Picture lose fitting, down to just above the knee spandex swim wear. The suits are black, but have bright colours around the neck area to focus attention away from the body.

They wear more clothes to go swimming than some people may wear to church but, Michelle Dugar breastfeeds in public.

It’s amazing what she does. She’s got the baby hanging on to her with a nursing pillow. She covers herself up, and walks around, going about her day with her youngest child suckling away.

I’m not the only mother who thought it was interesting. In the online breastfeeding forum world, there was a mini explosion about it.

There’s something empowering about a woman who is othewise so modest, who breastfeeds so publicly. It makes it easier for the rest of us.

I don’t think it matters that Michelle Duggar is completely covered up. It’s her choice.

Even today, facebook continues to censor breastfeeding images. A Vancouver artist and mother, Kate Hansen, had her art work depicting breast feeding mothers removed several times. Then, she got a message saying the images violated facebook’s terms of use.

Facebook did this a few years ago, but with actual pictures of breastfeeding women. This time, they’re offended by art work. As the Toronto Star’s Antonia Zerbisias said, even the Vatican doesn’t have a problem with artwork of Mary nursing baby Jesus.

It shows there’s still stigma about breast feeding.

But if Michelle Duggar can breast feed in public. Really, it means it’s ok for everyone.

You can listen to Kate Hansen’s story on a CBC radio’s The Story From Here April 21 podcast.

Oh, it’s been a terrible week for waste. Last Friday, I was annoyed with myself because I threw out about a cup of soft strawberries. This week, I hang my head in shame.

We went back to the maritimes and picked up our household stuff. It had been in storage more than a year, some of it got wet and moldy, some of it wasn’t well packed to start with. I had glass jars full of dry foods, and most of that got tossed. I kept some of the herbs and spices, but beans, flour, rice and grains stored in a moist environment subjected to extreme temperatures aren’t safe. I tossed them all. I did keep the jars, though, and ran them through the dishwasher. I am extremely fond of my antique canning jars, and they are hard to find. That was probably a good three pounds of food, and although there wasn’t anything else I could do with it, it hurt.

I threw out a good quarter pound of feta, which had decided to harbour blue mold. Feta needs to be kept in brine, and I usually change the brine every couple of weeks after opening. This time I didn’t and it went very bad – deadly bad for me, since I have a serious penicillin allergy which has sent me to the hospital in the past. It’s why I’m so careful with food handling and storage. A mistake that would be merely unpleasant for someone else can kill me.

It was odd returning to pick up our things. We quite obviously had left things in a hurry. It looked like we had deserted because of disaster. And that is what happened – we were preparing to set up a new home, take on new work, and were making good homesteading plans when Nicholas had the stroke. We fled like refugees. Homesteading is yet again delayed due to lack of permanent facilities or income. But I truly intend to do it, God willing.

So now I have my sewing machine, my spinning wheels, pounds and pounds of wool yet to be processed, and lots to do organizing the contained chaos. And how was your week?

Barbara, Leonard, Sarah and Katelyn

Today we want to introduce you to  Leonard and Barbara Lippy – husband and wife for over 30 years – our friends for over a decade.

Kelly – another close friend, shared this with me:

Several years after they were married Barb and Leonard started a little game that continued for over 20 years. They would write each other notes and then hide it in some place where the other spouse would eventually find it. They dated each note to see how long it took before it was found. It was a playful bantering game; they enjoyed many laughs and special moments with this romantic practice.

These “little notes” have forever affected me! To think how a simple piece of paper improved their relationship and the grace it gave them to endure all the hardships.

On February 15th, 2010, Barbara became seriously ill.  We didn’t know it then, but she only had one month left before the Lord would call her home.  Leonard, obviously mourning the loss of his best and dearest friend, shared with us how he unexpectedly found a note from Barb last Thursday dated 2/10/2010.  The note simply said, “I love you honey, and I am looking forward to fixing you something special for Valentines day.”  That meal would be the last one they would enjoy in their home together.

He found another note stuffed in his sock drawer, “I know Mother’s Day is coming soon and how hard it is for you to know what I would like;  Could you fix this necklace?  I would like to wear it on Mother’s Day when Sarah [their only daughter] and Katelyn [their only granddaughter] are here.”

Kelly continued:

“Can you imagine what effect this simple act could have on our spouse? The affirmation of our love and devotion by this small gesture can produce some astounding results in our marriage, not to mention help the sender as well as the recipient walk in a way that glorifies God and celebrates the love and friendship between a husband and wife.”

When I asked Leonard his permission to share his story he said, “Debi, if it helps one couple, then do it!  Thanks!”

Leonard, thank you for sharing your story with us and helping us remember what’s of most importance.  We have no guarantees for tomorrow, so we must make the most of every opportunity to love, honor and bless the one with whom we vowed “to love and cherish as long as we both shall live.”  This kind of love glorifies God because it is a reflection of His deep love for His Bride – the church!

Won’t you join us in praying for Leonard as the Lord brings him to mind?  It will take time for his heart to heal, and there may be more notes yet to be discovered.  But one thing is certain – God will use those notes to comfort him and remind him that he was loved by a truly, wonderful and godly woman.  Exactly the reason Barbara hid the notes in the first place!

The following is a letter from Saul detailing the opening of the first independent Christian school in Pakistan…Praise God!!!

Inauguration of Resurrecting Hope Primary School.

Proverbs 19: 2 YLT–”Also, without knowledge the soul is not good…” Amen!

Greetings, we are well and very happy and we hope you will also be happy and growing in Jesus …Amen.

I am going to write you short story about opening ceremony of Resurrecting Hope Primary School, Arifwala.

We are thankful to God for every thing which he has given to us, now greatest blessing for my poor people is Resurrecting Hope Primary School .

We had been praying for this blessing from many years, Christian children were not going to public schools because it was not affordable for them.

But God has promised with His people that He would never leave them alone and orphans. God keeps His promises and fulfills real desires of His good people.

We are thankful to God He listened our prayers and answered in His time. God found April 20th, 2010 right time to give start to our school.

On April 20th God opened a biggest door of development and prosperity for children in Arifwala. This door is Resurrecting Hope Primary School . This was need of long time for my people to understand Bible and this world, now they have a place where poor Christian children can polish and develop their thoughts according to the Biblical ways because now they have school which will be working properly to develop their minds and souls to become active part of this world being a good Christian.

Opening Ceremony

Every one was waiting for this day; we had 300 chairs in our opening ceremony in and outside of tents where we did this ceremony all 300 chairs were full of people because they were excited to see RHPS working for future of their children. Only adults were provided chairs children had to sit on the mats on the ground. More than 200 Children were present in this ceremony. Chairs were short in number so many people were standing on their feet to see this ceremony in other words we can say more than 500 persons were present in this ceremony.

In the begging of ceremony my friend introduced our school staff to all guests and told people about purposes of Resurrecting Hope Primary School in Arifwala. I, Saul, was called on the stage to tell people how God provided miracle funds for School. I told how God used Vertical World Solutions and all you people to do this work in Pakistan. Brother Raymond and Isaac also shared their part to do things for children of school

In the end I said prayers to God to say thanks for this greatest blessing for my people of Arifwala. We asked for blessings for all those people who said prayers and gave donations for Resurrecting Hope Primary School .

Children appeared in school uniforms to introduce our uniform to people. They did skits to give message about value of education for Christians of Pakistan. Children praised God through praise songs which were liked by their parents and Muslims guests.

We had invited Muslim people from our city. Professors, teachers and other officers from educational department were guests. This opening program is bridge to introduce our school to official people of education department which will help us to get tax free letter soon. We gave chance to speak to these official people and they encouraged children and parents to get education. Muslim professors and other teachers were full of  wonder and excited too, because this was first time when they were ever in Christian community in any ceremony. They said that they would try to train our teachers to get good results from classes. They said that they would visit again to see progress of children in this school and to share new methods of teaching with teachers. These Muslim teachers were happy to be part of opening ceremony. Their participation created an environment of love and harmony between Christian and Muslim teachers which is good sign.

Some old and good people from Christian colony were also called on the stage to express their feelings about school. Some people wept on the stage with emotions because they could not control tears of happiness during this opening ceremony.

We granted those students with awards who have taking good marks in different subjects.

Proverbs 19: 2 (Also, without knowledge the soul is not good) is decided central verse or slogan of Resurrecting Hope Primary School because this school will not only work on worldly education but on spiritual education too. Our main purpose is to make Christian children strong spiritually to spend worldly life as good and strong Christians in Pakistan .

We are thankful to God for RHPS because this was impossible for us to start a school for children but God made it possible with your help because without God’s and your help it was impossible for us to start school. This school is “Opening of Hope” for our people.

Thank you all very much for your prayers and love for us. We need your more prayers and help to do more work for betterment of Christian children of Pakistan .

May God Bless Resurrecting Hope Primary School and Resurrecting Hope Sewing School ….Amen

God Bless You…Amen
Saul Masih+ RHSS + RHPS

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/event.php?eid=115522431802589&ref=mf

We drove to New Brunswick and back this past weekend. We had some personal business to clear up, and we needed to get our household things out of storage. Most of it survived. A box of old files and some clothes got wet and moldy, but everything else seems okay. My spinning wheels, my washtubs, my packbasket, my good carbon steel knives are all with me and useful again.

I don’t travel often, so once I’m out of my own little milieu, I am aware once again of what it means to be Plain in the world. People stare, even in Ontario, where there are thousands of Plain people. In New Brunswick, people not only stared but apparently took photos with their cellphones. (Very rude, of course.) And there are Plain people in New Brunswick, but they rarely wander out of their enclave on the border. I don’t blame them.

We went to the church we used to attend in Fredericton. The priest serving that day has known me for years. I don’t think he’s seen me in cap and bonnet though, and he didn’t recognize me at the door. This happens quite a bit when I run into people who knew me “before,” when I dressed in worldly fashion. They may stare for a moment, quite puzzled, and even say, “I think I know you.” And sometimes the connection clicks, but often I have to remind them. So what did they see before? My eyes, mouth, face shape, height and weight haven’t changed. I wore little make-up in the past, and my hair was long, unstyled and natural coloured. So how did they identify me in the past?

The cap, bonnet, and Plain dress are almost anonymous. You have to pay attention to the person before you to make the connection with the personality. So people thought they knew me, but they really didn’t. They knew my image and not me. I find that a bit sad, for myself and for them.

When people see me now, they see a Christian. They don’t see an attractive woman with sexy long hair and stylish clothes. Men especially don’t see what they use to see – the feminine figure and nice legs. While I look feminine, I look feminine in a modest way, a way that demands respect. No one makes a pass. There’s no image on which to hang that expectation.

I am a better Christian for this. It keeps me away from mirrors and other pitfalls of vanity. I focus more on others and less on myself. (Although I am certainly nowhere near perfect on that yet!) My insecurities about appearance and acceptance are gone. I am what I am.

Today we continue our look at 1 Corinthians 13 to understand more clearly what love is.  This post is a bit more weighty than usual, but it is important in marriage to look deeper into the soil of our hearts to see what nutrients, or lack of, are there.  Our hope and prayer is that as you look you’ll be motivated to cultivate true love as Biblically defined, not culturally.  This is the only love that matters, and it’s the only love that will last.

We have found Noah Webster’s Dictionary from 1828 to be the most accurate in defining Biblical terms.  Why?  Because Noah was the first American to take the time to define the words used at this time in American history.  His source for the word’s definition?  He used scripture to determine accurately what each English word meant.  In case you have never studied his story…it is quite inspiring!  But that’s not what our post is about today.

The word is envy!

Envy – Pain, uneasiness, mortification or discontent excited by the sight of another’s superiority or success, accompanied with some degree of hatred or malignity, and often or usually with a desire or an effort to depreciate the person, and with pleasure in seeing him depressed.  Envy springs from pride, ambition or love, mortified that another has obtained what one has a strong desire to possess.

Given the definition, I don’t think many of us would confess publicly to envying our spouse, yet we do.  I (Debi) can think of a specific time in our marriage when I didn’t like the fact that Tom was able to leave for work – alone in his car – while I was left at home with three children age 4 and under, to care for and train minute by minute!  I was full of envy, wishing I could have the freedom to go and do without the demands motherhood required.  I’m ashamed to admit it, but it was true.  These thoughts left unchallenged and repented from produced strife and all kinds of discord in our home.

Pretending envious thoughts aren’t present in my heart accomplishes nothing good!

If I don’t see envy as sin, I have no hope!  Seeing it for what it is allows me to repent to my Savior – the only place I’ll find forgiveness and hope to move on free from its grip!

As my children have grown I don’t feel the pull of envy as strongly as I used to, yet I am always aware of the temptation to compare myself with others – be it my husband or friends who have more or do more than I am able to at this time in my life.

Love does not envy [period].

It’s that simple!  If I am allowing myself to think envious thoughts, I am NOT loving my husband/wife.  See it.  Admit it.  Confess it.  Repent of it.  And be free from it!  We don’t have to live this way.  Christ has set us free from the bonds of slavery to sin; this includes envy.  What glorious news!

“He whom the Son sets free, is free indeed!”

**IT”S YOUR TURN – Have you found yourself fighting temptations to be envious of your spouse?  How has God helped you fight this temptation?

Photo by Aubrey Reel

It is late.

It has been one of those nights where I am filled with emotions I don’t understand, much less expect my husband to understand.   Yet I try.  I strive to communicate honestly, even though as I speak what’s troubling me I realize how ridiculous it sounds.

Still…he listens. He asks questions, trying with the best of his ability to “get it” – to get what I’m feeling.

Impossible!

I am a woman.  He is a man.  God has made us completely and utterly different, yet we are ONE. I know he’ll never completely understand what motivates my thoughts, feelings and emotions.  Just as I’ll never understand his logic, his resolve and his unrelenting pursuit of me!

He is a gift.

He is what my soul needs to stay grounded when all around me seems shaken.  He reminds me of eternity by taking my hand and praying for me and with me.  As he does I sense a softening in my questioning heart.  The emotions die down, and I hear my voice follow his as I pray for him.

We are One because the One who created all things has ordained it to be so.  And in our oneness we are invited to participate in glorifying Him.  We do this by choosing in these unstable moments to cling to the only One who is stable!  Our circumstances change from day to day as do our emotions, yet He is the One to be trusted, to cling to, no matter how uncertain the day may become.

Marriage is a union stronger than any other, and it is in days like these where I feel it’s support and God’s tremendous blessing.

It is a gift…

…available only because of the gift of His Son to a dying world.  We live because He lived.  We love because He first loved us.  We press on because this is what brings Him glory.  He has promised to give us grace for the day…how thankful I am for the grace given to me through the love of my husband.

In this I have found peace.

**IT’S YOUR TURN:   When you find yourself in difficulties – relational or otherwise – how do you and your spouse work through it?  What have you found works for you?

A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to listen to a veteran of the non-violent international civil rights movement speak to a group of young leaders from different African ethnic groups who were traditionally involved in ongoing struggles with each other. I disagree with the man (I will not identify him unless and until I get his permission, something I hope to do) on many issues regarding politics, but have great respect for him and am impressed at the ways he has continued in his beliefs for decades. I was very surprised to find that he and his partner in the program actually believed many of the same things I do. I was not surprised about some of those things, however, for I have found that many people who disagree with me politically and philosophically do so only in regards to method on many things, not on the ultimate outcome. For instance, we generally want people to have what they need to be happy, safe and well, we just disagree as to the method. Sometimes the difference is as small as who should pay for something, and sometimes as large as what constitutes freedom and whether freedom is worth the price it costs it exacts.

At any rate, this man, I shall call him “Dr. L,” responded to questions regarding how to draw the young of an African nation into an established, non-violent movement, saying that “they” [the young leader/students and others] had it backwards. He gave as an example the behavior of young Americans who dressed with their pants pulled down below their hips and said that too many people concentrated on getting the young men to conform to the standards of dress that their elders set. What did this matter? Dr. L suggested that if a seed could be planted in the hearts of these young men that would cause them to want to improve and respect themselves, and if they were allowed to do it in their own way, with perhaps some guidance from others rather than a required strict adherence to the paths of their predecessors, they would eventually pull their pants up. In all likelihood, increased self respect and improved lot in life would bring the pants off the floor.

In a like manner, Dr. L suggested that the basic principles of non-violence be taught to the young as a planting of seeds, and rather than requiring them to join an established movement, they would grow one of their own and meet or exceed our expectations. They would accept the principles as their own. “Don’t try to get the young ones into the movement, get the movement into the young ones!” This requires meeting them where the are, not requiring them to come to you.

I am a traditionalist in many ways. I believe in some specific core values that I feel should be taught to our young folk, and some things that they should be taught to avoid. Still, I tend to differ from many of my ilk in that I am less worried about method. Or more precisely, I feel that it is not important that they conform to my methods. I feel that if my core values are, in fact, true, and that if others can be encouraged to seek truth, we will eventually find ourselves in the same place; albeit maybe arriving from different directions. To carry the geographical analogy a bit further, most of us are at different places or even on different roads in our journeys (we will omit the element of time for now.) It would be foolish for me to expect a traveler on a path that takes him over the ocean to need the same equipment or take the same approach to get to where he is going as one crossing the mountains. So why would I expect those traveling a different spiritual road to use the same forms of worship, same creeds, same rituals, same whatever? Furthermore, travelers from different lands may speak different tongues, and have different traditions regarding personal relationships, so why should I expect my fellow travelers to worship with the same songs, have the Spirit affect them in the same way, respond to relationships the same way or have the same amount of enthusiasm (or lack thereof) for small groups, large worship, Internet communication, even “virtual” relationships? When I do so, am I not saying, “This is the movement that works for me and I want it to continue. You should join me?”

To paraphrase Dr. L, maybe what I should be saying is, “Here are some core beliefs of the movement (i.e. Christ’s movement,) now what can you do with them?” Instead of trying to get them in the movement, I should be doing what I can to let the Spirit work through me and get the movement into them. And I should do so on their terms, in their language, with their methods. If that means they need us to tweet, blog, use avatars, social network, Youtube, or wikis, we should do it. Jesus talked to the people where they were and in ways they understood, so there is a precedent. Of course, the established religious folk of his day weren’t thrilled with ideas they found unhealthy. I wonder if all that happened today, whether it would be Jesus or the Sanhedrin saying “Pull those pants up if you want to talk to me!”

Young people interact, process information, and prioritize aspects of relationships differently than do many of us older folk. It isn’t just the methods they use to communicate and accomplish tasks, it is a basic way of thinking and setting values. I don’t believe that it is necessarily bad, just different. Much will be lost through this change in thinking, but much may be gained. Regardless, the bottom line is that I can not reverse the process, nor should I try.

I believe I should instead focus my energy on the core truths that have not changed. After all, do I not have faith that if others are searching for the truth , God will guide them there? Or is my faith such that I fear that when they find it, it will be something different than I have? What, after all, do I have in my traditions that is so fragile that it can be shattered by an earnest search for a deeper knowledge of God?

Whatever it may be, I pray God shatters it. I build enough “idols” without my letting traditions be among them.

Oh, one more thing in regards to targeting methods of helping plant the “movement” in the people rather than trying to get the people to join our established movement. I am open to elucidation. When we were commanded to make disciples of all nations, what movement (church, denomination, confession, method of baptism, etc.) were we being commanded to make them disciples of? The answer is very important because it will help us understand how best to increase our membership in these things. Otherwise, the only instructions we have might cause a Baptist to plant a seed of Christ’s love in a person, only to have him choose to worship God through a Presbyterian church or only to develop a relationship with him on an individual basis that will do no good to the establish church at all. I mean, when your lonely and desperate, what good is having a personal relationship with Christ if you haven’t gotten around to joining the “right” church? Just wondering.