I don’t care what anybody says. Chris Rock is almost a prophet.  <————— Check out this clip from his movie “Head of State”  in which a small time African-American local politician gets “plucked from obscurity” to run against an establishment war hero whose motto is “God bless America. And no place else.”

You know, like Mr.  ”Country First”.

The Bible says we are in the world but not of the world. So it always puzzles me when people claiming to be Christians are so into the idea of “Patriotism” that it becomes worship of a Country.

I love being an American. I appreciate that I was born here for a reason God will reveal in time. I like that we have everything from Alaskan orca tours to Disneyworld to giant deserts. We have a diverse group of people and great food. A wonderful history and many freedoms. But hear me out. America is not God.

God is.

Anyone who professes “Country first” over and over again gets a little creepy to me, especially when they claim to be Christian. Because as a Christian, God is first. We should love and care for our countrymen. We should respect the laws of our land and strive to make this country better. But we should NEVER kneel at the altar of America as opposed to that of Christ. And we should not become so arrogant that we think we are better because we were lucky to be born in our country. If God placed us in the land of opportunity, it was so we could show His mercies through our blessings. Not hoard them and brag about how great we are to have them.

This crazy America-worship that forms into hate groups and militias and dangerous people shooting up federal buildings, well, this isn’t Godly. It’s straight from the enemy playbook.  As a Christian, I’m tired of the Lord being misrepresented.

Be proud to be an American. Take joy in the opportunities it presents us. But God says there can be no others before him. If the same crowd yelling, “worship the Creator, not the Creation” would take that idea in all manner of thinking imagine what this country would be.

America makes blessings possible, but she’s not the author of our blessings. That is the Lord. Don’t worship this ideal as an idol.

Somewhere in the humor of Chris Rock’s debate speech, there’s actually a prayer that is so subtle you might just miss it. So I’ll repeat a version of it here. Christians should be glad that God has blessed America. And pray He blesses others around the world too.

Okay, most of us have experienced rough times in our marriages at one time or another. A fair percentage of Americans have also experienced broken marriages. So, if you are presently among the wounded, it may be difficult to understand why a marriage writer would say ‘stay out of the therapist’s office’.

As Christians, we are called to higher principles than the world around us. I am not being an insensitive “legalist” when I say this, but rather I am asserting a good use of common sense. Let us look at what we know. 

We know:

1. As Christians, our marriage vows have nothing to do with the laws of the land and are rather a covenant between both parties and a holy God. Even if marriage laws did not exist, we are bound by the covenant we hold together with our God. This covenant supercedes any man made law and it always will.
2. We enter into marriage as a “three fold cord” – that is, man, woman and Holy Spirit. We enter into marriage in spiritual unity and “the two shall become one”. This biblical principle is true even if one human party breaks covenant by filing divorce. As long as one partner is in agreement with the spirit of the Lord, the covenant is still in effect and the Lord will reconcile as long as the broken party does not remarry.
3. We know that sometimes we have to allow our injured marriage to completely “die”, become buried, and stand on the faith of the Word in order for the Lord to have an opportunity to resurrect the marriage to life again. But we also know that “love never fails” and as long as we continue to walk in love, we will see His power in our marriages – dead or alive.

Now, since we know these scriptural principles, then we have a spiritual basis for the healing of our marriages. We do not need to turn to any man because the Lord is the head of the marriage and the head of both parties to the marriage.

But I want to throw in something here that most Americans plainly do NOT know: the famous grandfather of psychology, Carl Jung, produced a theory that became the basis of all modern psychology. More importantly, his work became the basis of ALL modern American “personality tests.”  These are the same personality tests used by universities to direct people into careers and by corporations to place people according to their temperament, natural disposition and inherent talent.

What you don’t know is that Carl Jung was the first American to import the use of the I Ching – The Book of Changes; this is the Chinese oracle which is 5,000 years old and which involves both divination and numerology. In other words, this is the Chinese cultural “bible” in which they trust all major decisions for life. The problem with this text is that it is contrary to the bible both in theory and in practice and it is the equivalent of practicing witchcraft [from a Christian perspective]. Jung used this book to create all of his personality assessment tests and the text is still the basis of these tests today.

When you enter into a psychologist’s office you may or may not be asked to take a personality test. As often as not, you are NOT asked to take a test. However, you immediately become the subject of your psychologist’s assessment of your “basic personality type” according to the dominant theory he or she studied in their graduate work. All modern personality theories are based on Jung’s work and his occult assertions, and so whether you believe you are subjecting yourself to a modern “witch doctor” or not, you have indeed invited the enemy into your marriage via your marriage counselor. This is the primary reason marriage counselors do not bear the fruit of reconciliation.

Very few marriage counselors are educated in Christian principles of counsel and I have yet to meet one [Christian or not] that did not do their undergraduate studies in the local university under the influence of the modern “big boys” of which Jung is one of the primaries.  I do not need to make any assertions against any cultural practice or belief. Nor do I need to criticize what the Chinese assert in their practice of consulting the I Ching. That clearly is NOT my point in this article.

My point is this: IF you are a Christian and believe what our bible says about marriage, covenant, counseling, healing and reconciliation, then WHY would you ever need to turn to the tools of another culture whose belief system is contradictory to your own? Have you once considered WHY the psychologists “solutions” are not working in our Christian culture? Or WHY the church that consults with the occult-based psychologists cannot seem to produce a higher success rate in marriage than the non-believing world?

What we know from scripture combined with historical facts about the basis of modern psychology is, in fact, all that we need to know to make the right choices concerning our marriages. “What God has put together, let no man put asunder.” That includes you, me AND the psychologist. Remember, the Lord said, “you have no need that any man teach you [the right thing to do]”. The reason you have no need is because you have the spirit of the Lord inside you to direct your life and your spouse’s life. “Let him who departed be reconciled.” This is pleasing to the Lord. Amen.

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(c) 2010, Joyce A. Leggette, Ph.D., All Rights Reserved. Contact the author at: editor@shulamitepublishinghouse.com for reprint rights and permissions.

The husband and I have been listening to Mark Driscoll’s (from Mars Hill Church in Seattle) talks this week. As per my post from last week, he’s a very effective and godly preacher, and I have found these talks very encouraging and helpful.

This one in particular has been very helpful, as a wife, on how to be submissive, and what exactly that means practically. I really recommend that all women listen to it, and take what they say to heart. It is tremendously encouraging to hear from a women’s perspective too, as Grace Driscoll answers questions in this talk.

Let me know if you found it helpful

Concerning the husband’s responsibility to love his wife, J. R. Miller offers these thoughts:

“Each member of the household has a part in the family life and fullest happiness and blessedness of the home can be attained only when each one’s part is safely fulfilled. If any one member of the family fails in love or duty, the failure mars the whole household life, just as one discordant note in a company of singers spoils the music – though all the others sing in perfect accord. One person cannot alone make a home what it ought to be, what it might be.

One sweet spirit may spread through the home the odors of love, even though among the other members, there is bitterness and strife, just as one fragrant flower may spread through a hedge of thorns a breath of perfume. The influence of one gentle and unselfish life may also in times soften rudeness and melt selfishness and pervade the home life with blessedness of love.

Yet still is true that no member of a household can make the household life full and complete. Each must do a part. The husband has a part all his own which no other can do…There is one work which covers all as far as the husband’s responsibility and the word is love.”

Men, it is true – of all the members of the household none is more responsible than we are to do that which we have been ordained by God to do!  In our own strength this is impossible, but God….BUT GOD…has promised to help us in our weakness to do that which we could never do left to ourselves.

May we pray all the more earnestly to be men who love their wives by laying aside our desires for their good and ultimately for God’s glory!

“[Children] must pay attention to what their parents have to say and do it. To hear and not do is to not hear at all. Clearly, this presupposes that fathers are teaching their children first. You can’t hear what is not being said. If children are to listen up, then dads must speak up.

Home is to be the university of life. Dad is the president and head professor, mom is on faculty and the head of her department, and, yes, she has tenure! The children form the student body, and the Word of God is the core curriculum. School is always in session, and obedience is what brings a passing grade.”

Dr. Steven J. Lawson
“The Legacy” (1998)

The Husband Who Destroyed His Wife’s Reputation

March 26, 2010

The Proverbs 31 girl is described as the woman who is praised by her husband (Proverbs 31:2), who has ‘full confidence’ in her (Proverbs 31:11).  The ‘unfortunate fact of the matter’, as Hugh Grant would state, is that my story begins a little to the contrary. If we were to get married, you could probably describe me as ‘the husband who destroyed his wife’s reputation’.

Misconstruing a statement she had made, I took action too quickly, which caused her huge embarrassment, which as you can understand coming from an Italian background, carries with it a huge sense of shame.

For all the wisdom I believe I could provide her with as a result of my academic training, as her potential husband, you could effectively say she is probably more wise than me, if there is a causal relationship between wisdom and patience, as outlined in Proverbs 19:11.  Furthermore, patience is listed alongside love, joy, peace, [patience], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control as a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22).

From the age of about fifteen, I have had high levels of training in marketing at tertiary level, and throughout some of the psychology material that we covered (as well as some in Seminary), I often like to provide a simulated stimulus, to see how people respond.  Obviously, I am not inferring that one should lie about themselves to their future partner to see their response, but by tweaking the form you communicate, I find it rather interesting to see how people respond.  For instance, if I were to send a multitude of emails, because the way they respond (or don’t respond) tells you something about their personality.  Furthermore, with forensic tools that can help you detect their following actions, you can effectively work out what they are thinking, just as Federal Bureau of Investigation officers are trained to in forensic psychiatry.

Throughout my discourse with Chrissy, I was blessed enough (I wanted to say lucky enough, but I remember in year twelve when a Christian teacher, though I went to a secular school, corrected me and reminded me there was ‘no such thing as luck’) to have the opportunity to converse with her in several different forms, including both casual as well as a professional tone.

It was only then that I discovered, wow, this girl is full of the Spirit.

The Kinky Sadomasochistic Reality About Chrissy

March 24, 2010

We sometimes like to ask ourselves what our biggest mistake in our life is. Mine is not one that I regret, though. I was brought up at the local church, accepted Jesus Christ when I was eight when a missionary came to speak at our Baptist Church, and I remember later being baptized when I was fourteen. When I was fifteen years old, I remember very clearly getting down on my knees saying to God that I would do whatever God wanted me to do, no matter the cost. I was indeed naive, for I really didn’t know the cost.

Many nights, I lay in my bed crying myself to sleep, wondering why my life has to be so fantastically difficult. After all, I had to go through many trials and tribulations most teenagers did not, simply because of where God had positioned me. Christians and non-Christians alike would persecute me, many for non-existent hypothetical reasons.

What sort of sadomasochistic Christian husband then would ever want to inflict this not-at-all-kinky sort of pain upon his wife? Is there such a wife that could handle such pressure, and if there was, could she respond to it in a Godly manner? Communication and presentation skills come into my mind instantly, all of which Chrissy have.

I am renowned for having never really even kissed a girl, there was one exception, but I immediately washed my mouth and spat out any saliva that she dislodged into my mouth (for my princess)! Nevertheless, when I was eighteen, I mutually agreed with a girl who was slightly older than me that we should ‘pretend’ to go out, and say that we were officially ‘on’. Hours, I begged her, before she finally agreed.

Eventually however, we splat up, and I eventually failed a critical exam, which delayed my University graduation by an entire semester. The basis for our split-up was this fact regarding her ‘capacity’. All the while ‘dating’ me (if you can call it that), she always felt too inadequate, and couldn’t handle the spotlight. A woman who can present herself and communicate clearly is to be respected, in my opinion.

Maybe Chrissy could be the one?

The Husband Who Destroyed His Wife’s Reputation

March 26, 2010

The Proverbs 31 girl is described as the woman who is praised by her husband (Proverbs 31:2), who has ‘full confidence’ in her (Proverbs 31:11).  The ‘unfortunate fact of the matter’, as Hugh Grant would state, is that my story begins a little to the contrary. If we were to get married, you could probably describe me as ‘the husband who destroyed his wife’s reputation’.

Misconstruing a statement she had made, I took action too quickly, which caused her huge embarrassment, which as you can understand coming from an Italian background, carries with it a huge sense of shame.

For all the wisdom I believe I could provide her with as a result of my academic training, as her potential husband, you could effectively say she is probably more wise than me, if there is a causal relationship between wisdom and patience, as outlined in Proverbs 19:11.  Furthermore, patience is listed alongside love, joy, peace, [patience], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control as a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22).

From the age of about fifteen, I have had high levels of training in marketing at tertiary level, and throughout some of the psychology material that we covered (as well as some in Seminary), I often like to provide a simulated stimulus, to see how people respond.  Obviously, I am not inferring that one should lie about themselves to their future partner to see their response, but by tweaking the form you communicate, I find it rather interesting to see how people respond.  For instance, if I were to send a multitude of emails, because the way they respond (or don’t respond) tells you something about their personality.  Furthermore, with forensic tools that can help you detect their following actions, you can effectively work out what they are thinking, just as Federal Bureau of Investigation officers are trained to in forensic psychiatry.

Throughout my discourse with Chrissy, I was blessed enough (I wanted to say lucky enough, but I remember in year twelve when a Christian teacher, though I went to a secular school, corrected me and reminded me there was ‘no such thing as luck’) to have the opportunity to converse with her in several different forms, including both casual as well as a professional tone.

It was only then that I discovered, wow, this girl is full of the Spirit.

We call any collection of upper respiratory symptoms with sneezing and coughing a “cold.” It is such a common occurance that most of us just get another handkerchief, drink some tea and soldier on.

Over the counter medications, if you believe their advertising, will help us control the symptoms of this dramatic and disabling disease.

Either we need to appear perfectly well at work or we need to baby ourselves and stay home in bed. Neither approach seems to match reality.

Even with the OTC decongestants we are still infectious and feel below par. Staying at home means that necessary tasks get postponed.

Now, I opt for the second choice – stay home! Stop infecting everyone in your path! Our latest bout of rhinovirus is the result of Patience’s playgroup exposure, where a mother rather proudly boasted that she had brought the wee bairn because his other group was so strict about staying home with colds. Here’s a modern role for small children – plague rats, because their parents won’t change their routine of visiting, shopping, and generally doing anything but staying home with the kids.

I’ve speculated on this before. Groups of young parents (usually women, not always) gather at the local Starbucks or some other toney coffeehouse, mega-strollers the size of coal barges shoved in beside them, toddlers and babes in tow, almost every day. These aren’t the stereotypical market mums of the past, out to get the evening meal or pick up a quart of milk for the pudding; they are women with five appliances in the kitchen and a programmable espresso maker at home.

They may pride themselves on still being out in the world, even while they take a break from their jobs to raise children. That is admirable, I like that. But are they putting children first? Are they more concerned with their loneliness and isolation, and their potential loss of status?

I’m not sure this is at all fulfilling, to be out of the house with the wee ones day after day, loading up car seats, folding the mega-strollers into the back of the SUV or van (how else do you carry one of those?) and hitting the mall or the coffeehouse. I’d rather be at home with the laundry and mending. I’ve got plenty of heavy work to do without the stroller deadlift added.

We are a restless culture. Our culture looks for stimulation, excitement, interaction, and personal feedback and affirmation at all times and under all circumstances.

It’s not that I haven’t been there myself as a young mum. I swore that having a baby was not going to turn me into a drudge, I was going to have a social life and I wasn’t going to be trapped in the kitchen. Silly me. I learned within a couple of weeks that staying home with the baby is so much easier than being the old social butterfly, the gal about town, I once was. I had no money, I had no car to use, I had a secondhand stroller. That may have made the difference. I didn’t have the SUV and the coal barge pram to tote everything for me. I was a 115 pound pack mule.

So my house was clean; my writing assignments got done on deadline; all our meals were homemade. I sewed for myself and the baby. I got reading done. Yes, that all changed when he could crawl and walk, but it was a productive year or so, as soon as I gave up the coffee and lunch dates and devoted myself to being a homebody.

I’ve learned to love that. It is the joy of simplicity. It is the joy of giving to one’s child and family. I didn’t realize that was all buried under my rather shallow social life; it took the realization that I didn’t want to carry the stroller down a long flight of stairs (upper story apartment) and carry about a whole nursery in a bag. Necessity forced me to examine my priorities.

I know about myself that when I start to get restless for company and socialization, it’s not about loneliness, but about an emotional need to feel all right, to feel like I fit into society. But I’m a Christian, I get my “affirmation” in another way, through prayer and meditation and the Holy Presence.

The Husband Who Destroyed His Wife’s Reputation

March 26, 2010

The Proverbs 31 girl is described as the woman who is praised by her husband (Proverbs 31:2), who has ‘full confidence’ in her (Proverbs 31:11).  The ‘unfortunate fact of the matter’, as Hugh Grant would state, is that my story begins a little to the contrary. If we were to get married, you could probably describe me as ‘the husband who destroyed his wife’s reputation’.

Misconstruing a statement she had made, I took action too quickly, which caused her huge embarrassment, which as you can understand coming from an Italian background, carries with it a huge sense of shame.

For all the wisdom I believe I could provide her with as a result of my academic training, as her potential husband, you could effectively say she is probably more wise than me, if there is a causal relationship between wisdom and patience, as outlined in Proverbs 19:11.  Furthermore, patience is listed alongside love, joy, peace, [patience], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control as a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22).

From the age of about fifteen, I have had high levels of training in marketing at tertiary level, and throughout some of the psychology material that we covered (as well as some in Seminary), I often like to provide a simulated stimulus, to see how people respond.  Obviously, I am not inferring that one should lie about themselves to their future partner to see their response, but by tweaking the form you communicate, I find it rather interesting to see how people respond.  For instance, if I were to send a multitude of emails, because the way they respond (or don’t respond) tells you something about their personality.  Furthermore, with forensic tools that can help you detect their following actions, you can effectively work out what they are thinking, just as Federal Bureau of Investigation officers are trained to in forensic psychiatry.

Throughout my discourse with Chrissy, I was blessed enough (I wanted to say lucky enough, but I remember in year twelve when a Christian teacher, though I went to a secular school, corrected me and reminded me there was ‘no such thing as luck’) to have the opportunity to converse with her in several different forms, including both casual as well as a professional tone.

It was only then that I discovered, wow, this girl is full of the Spirit.