The world has developed a wonderful category for young people – wonderful, that is, from the world’s point of view. This category is called: The Teenage Years. Teenagers – especially in America – are encouraged to play around with all the privileges of adulthood while being exempt from all but a very few of the responsibilities.

Since this is a worldly concept, we would expect to see something different in the Church, wouldn’t we? Here is how the Bible says that adults should minister to young people in church:

That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.

Titus 2:2-6

The world says that teenaged children must be entertained or they will find church boring and irrelevant. God says that they are to be taught and exhorted from His Word, and that the power of the Gospel (not pizza parties, rock concerts, or games) will transform them. Children are not to be separated out of a church fellowship. They are to be kept among the aged men and women of the church, so that they can be prepared for mature Christian adulthood, not a worldly prolonged-adolescence.

I was thinking about some things I learned a few years ago, back to February of 2005 to be exact. It was then I had the opportunity to hear a particular message from Rick Godwin.

Rick’s message was about taking risks and how important it is to be willing to take risks in your life. There was one statement he made that hit me so hard, it still impacts me today. He said, “you can change the world…start with yourself, by becoming extraordinary”.

One thing I have learned over the years is it is very difficult to become something unless you understand what it is.

Extraordinary [ik-strawr-dn-er-ee, ek-struh-awr-] adjective
1. beyond what is usual, ordinary, regular, or established: extraordinary costs.
2. exceptional in character, amount, extent, degree, etc.; noteworthy: remarkable: extraordinary speed; an extraordinary man. (Dictionary.com: http://dictionary.reference.com)

In Hebrew, the word we translate for extraordinary is yotzai dofen; (lit. “go out from the wall.”) Balashan-Hebrew Language Detective, February 16, 2006; it is the word used in the Hebrew language for cesarean section.

Cesarean Section, as you know, is the act of opening the mothers womb and removing the child. Often this act is performed to save both the life of the child and the mother.

For fathers, this reference to an act performed on a mother takes on an even more significant note when we think of the world around us as having such a significant impact upon who we are. Both good and bad, the world around us has molded us into the person/personality we are today.

If we continue on in who we are now, with no change, we will not only continue to perpetuate the past, through our children, but we will never grow to a point that we can make a difference in our world.

Cesarean section is not without pain, danger, or complications. This is where the risk comes in. As fathers we must be willing to change the world through yotzai dofen. We must “go out from the wall”, for at the wall there is protection, security, even warmth, but we must move away from the wall. Away from the wall, away from the shadows cast, there the light can shine directly on us and things become much clearer. We will see things in a new light, the clarity of which has the potential to change the world.

As a society we have walled ourselves in to protect our children and not allow them the exposure to risk.

A wall we fiercely protect and sustain with every financial and physical advantage we can give. Our children have little opportunity to change the world. From birth to graduation from college, we maintain the wall and then turn them loose on a world that is in need of extraordinary people to save it. With few tools at their command, true change is not likely to happen.

Our ancestors did not have the luxury of walling in their children. They had to learn to adapt. They had no 401k, no social security, not pension, just extraordinary faith. Extraordinary faith is the basis for extraordinary risk and thus extraordinary acts. Extraordinary acts performed by extraordinary men creating extraordinary change that made this world great.

Today, we must “go out from the wall,” for if we do not, we can’t expect to change the world.

Become an extraordinary father

En servicio como padre
Dave

All married couples desire to have it.  What is it?  Romance.  However, romance in itself is not the answer.  If it was then all we would need is Hollywood.  Romance is the outflow of all the right stuff in our marriage; it isn’t the foundation.  The foundation that will lead us into a more intimate and romantic relationship is the Gospel.  It is here where we learn what true love is.

From the Gospel, husbands learn to lay their lives down for their wives, giving of themselves 100%.  Wives learn to respect and follow their husbands 100%, not because they’re perfect, but because the God who leads him is!

In the book, Counsel From The Cross, Elyse Fitzpatrick says:

When spouses begin to grasp the depth of God’s love for them in Christ, the need for romance, respect, and attention will rapidly diminish.  Rather than seeing themselves as needy sponges, trying to soak up every drop of earthly, human love, they will see themselves as wells supplied by a divine Spring, overflowing with living water that is meant to satisfy, cheer, and serve those around them.  They can delight themselves in the streams of water and the true bread that their Savior feeds them.

So, are you a sponge or a well?  It is of utmost importance that you determine the answer to this question based on how you relate to your spouse.  If you are a sponge – you will never be satisfied.  If you are supplied with the Spring of Living Water, you will never be dry.

Our vineyard provides lots of nourishment for relationships irrigated with Living Water.   Enjoy our ideas like a drink of cool water, but soak in the goodness of the Gospel – for here is where true growth in marriage takes place.

Fall is finally here! 

I love the colder season <3  So in the spirit of a new season, I decided it would be a nice time to finish unpacking my apt. and clean my son’s room. 

In theory this is a good idea, but in reality…………………… Aaaaah!

Now that Zuko is 8, I figured he was old enough for some light chores.  I have been trying to teach him “Big Boy” responsibilities.

Love my New Dish Washer!

I can’t express how nice it is to have a dish washer again…

As soon as Zuko learned to walk I taught him to pick up his toys, but it seems that lesson has sadly been forgotten.   Every night at 6pm I tell Zuko to pick up his toys and clean his room…. to my surprise his ears heard, “throw all your toys in the closet, and make sure the closet doors are warped by the pressure pushing them off the hinges.” 

Strange -I know =/   But I guess the two statements sound the same…???

Since it is Fall cleaning time, I decided to grab my courage and take on that closet!  Zuko’s job was to clear out the closet, and my job was to organize it.

This is what we ended up with….

The closet after I took off the doors and organized it.

Zuko did his job too, he cleared out the closet…….

So as you can see I have opened a huge Can of Worms!

Someday my efforts will be seen… The pic to the right is 2 days of sifting through the toys and putting things away…!!! 

But hey -You gotta start somewhere  0.O

 At least my dishes are clean ;D

Blessings Friends!                 Comment. Subscribe. Visit Me Soon.

The most neglected department in the life of the Christian is family. Whenever you hear of someone talking a lot about Jesus, sad to say, you have to delve deeper and determine the state of their family.

The established church has determined the way Christians should live, and sadly a lot of the time it is not to the Bible standard. This hypocrisy is the stumbling block in many who may want to really please God in their hearts.

They do not know the Bible standard of marriage and assume the established church does, but it does not.

The following statement may shock some of you.

Polygamy is no-where forbidden in the Bible, and yet the established church has forbidden it. Could this be the reason for the widespread devastation in Christian families today? Is providence striking back with decisive vengeance? Don’t facts conclusively prove that professing Christians are even more likely to have family break-ups than non-Christians? Imposing monogamy – what is this, if not a false standard?

Right now, as I write this post, it is 5am on a Sunday morning, I have been awake for 3 hours, I couldn’t sleep… I am trying to find myself still, find peace with who I am. I have realised, I grew up fast, but I am a girl still. I am at the cliff of 23, I have been a wife for 2 years, and yet I have so much to learn. I learn from my fellow wives, mothers, bloggers, friends. I have to learn how to be a better wife, how to be a faithful child of God, how to protect my marriage. I am still learning to be the person that I am to be. I don’t know how long it will take, or how many trials I need to face, but I do know that I cannot do it alone. I need my Lord, and my family, and my friends. I need to know that if I stumble I will not fall… and if I fall, that I will be lifted up.

I need to become the woman that the Lord destined me to be, and the wife that my husband deserves.

I am still busy working this one out for myself… I love my husband, my leader with all my heart. But somewhere in the mundane bits of life, we tend to sometimes fall out of love. This seems to be normal amongst married people, but I don’t want to settle for normalcy. I want to be in love, to fall sweetly, daily, into the arms of my sweetheart.

A Holy Experience is a blog I found recently, and the author, Ann Voskamp is someone who has inspired me to be more, more godly, more happy, more grateful, more in love. She writes on (in)courage, and this post is one which really touched my heart. Probably because it is an issue I am all too familiar with… In fact I am sure, if I was honest, I would be able to write a pretty decent post about it… But for now all I’ll say is, read that post, and take to heart what Ann says.

(photo and picture courtesy of A Holy Experience)

The Hedge of Thorns

⁶Therefore, behold, I [the Lord God] will hedge up her way [even yours, O Israel] with thorns; and I will build a wall against her that she shall not find her paths.

⁷And she shall follow after her lovers but she shall not overtake them; and she shall seek them [inquiring for and requiring them], but shall not find them. Then shall she say, Let me go and return to my husband, for then was it better with me than now.

⁸For she has not noticed, understood, or realized that it was I [the Lord God] Who gave her the grain and the new wine and the fresh oil, and Who lavished upon her silver and gold which they used for Baal and made into his image.

⁹Therefore will I return and take back My grain in the time for it and My new wine in the season for it, and will pluck away and recover My wool and My flax which were to cover her nakedness.

¹⁰And now will I uncover her lewdness and her shame in the sight of her lovers, and no one shall rescue her out of My hand.

¹¹I will also cause to cease all her mirth, her feastmaking, her New Moons, her Sabbaths, and all her solemn feasts and appointed festive assemblies.

¹²And I will lay waste and destroy her vines and her fig trees of which she has said, These are my reward or loose woman’s hire that my lovers have given me; and I will make [her plantations] an inaccessible forest, and the wild beasts of the open country shall eat them.

¹³And I will visit [punishment] upon her for the feast days of the Baals, when she burned incense to them and decked herself with her earrings and nose rings and her jewelry and went after her lovers and forgot Me, says the Lord.

¹⁴Therefore, behold, I will allure her and bring her into the wilderness, and I will speak tenderly and to her heart.

¹⁵There I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor* to be for her a door of hope and expectation. And she shall sing there and respond as in the days of her youth and as at the time when she came up out of the land of Egypt.

¹⁶And it shall be in that day, says the Lord, that you will call Me Ishi [my Husband], and you shall no more call Me Baali [my Baal].

¹⁷For I will take away the names of Baalim [the Baals] out of her mouth, and they shall no more be mentioned or seriously remembered by their name.

¹⁸And in that day will I make a covenant for {her} with the living creatures of the open country and with the birds of the heavens and with the creeping things of the ground. And I will break the bow and the sword and [abolish battle equipment and] conflict out of the land and will make you lie down safely.

¹⁹And I will betroth you to Me forever; yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy.

²⁰I will even betroth you to Me in stability and in faithfulness, and you shall know (recognize, be acquainted with, appreciate, give heed to, and cherish) the Lord.

²¹And in that day I will respond, says the Lord; I will respond to the heavens [which ask for rain to pour on the earth], and they shall respond to the earth [which begs for the rain it needs],

²²And the earth shall respond to the grain and the wine and the oil [which beseech it to bring them forth], and these shall respond to Jezreel [restored Israel, who prays for a supply of them].

²³And I will sow her for Myself anew in the land, and I will have love, pity, and mercy for her who had not obtained love, pity, and mercy; and I will say to those who were not My people, You are My people, and they shall say, You are my God!

(Hosea 2:6-23 AMP)

*vs. 15: Valley of Achor – Achor translates to “trouble.” God promised He would turn the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope.

Spiritual Warfare – GOD’s Way

Sometimes things can get a little rough in a Marriage when one or both partners aren’t following the rules of The Ephesian Marriage as outlined in Ephesians 5:21-33. More often than not – and whether or not you will admit it – BOTH partners are responsible for the breakdown of their Marriage. It is very rarely attributable to just one partner alone. If your Marriage is in trouble, somebody needs to take a stand for what’s right – no matter who is right or wrong. The survival of your Marriage depends on it. It is not the time to ask yourself “Why should I be the one to do it? I didn’t do anything!” “It’s not me that needs to change!!” Sound familiar? First of all, our pride is what keeps us from doing the right thing – so we are actually doing something that is detrimental to the health of our Marriage. It’s time to retreat to your Prayer Closet and get some one-on-One time with God.

A Small Introduction to Hosea

The Book of Hosea shows God’s relationship with Israel and His impending judgments through the living prophecy and ministry that is Hosea’s own life. It can also be used as an allegory of the human marriage. Both relationships, that of God to Israel and Hosea to his wife, are spiritual and physical relationships. Both have spiritual and physical implications in their judgments.

GOD commanded Hosea to marry a woman of whoredoms. Whether or not Gomer (his wife) was a prostitute when he married her is not clear to me but it is clear she became a prostitute during the marriage seeking out other lovers through the lusts of her flesh. Gomer bore Hosea three children with God-given names that reflected and represented divine punishments and judgments that He had decreed upon the nation of Israel for her spiritual harlotries. The children’s names were later changed to represent the redemption of God’s people. Hosea’s life was a living prophecy with regard to the judgments of God upon His people. Hosea later redeemed his wife with pieces of silver and barley. Note: Hosea represents God in His divine character, judgments and mercy while Gomer represents Israel’s unfaithfulness to God.

A Wicked State of Mind

As Gomer strayed from her husband, Hosea, God placed a Hedge of Thorns about her. (Again notice the parallel between that of God with Israel and Hosea with Gomer.) The spiritual warfare began at the moment God placed the Hedge of Thorns around Gomer. Her life was about to change. God was going to get her attention. It was a battle of Gomer’s depraved will against the righteous will of God. God started to apply pressure in Gomer’s life to show her that what she was doing was wrong – and in so doing, those divine pressures pointed Gomer back toward home — to God and to her husband. Everything that Gomer had pridefully attributed to her own abilities and used to serve her own gods and lusts were slowly removed from her – one by one until she was left with nothing but to acknowledge the Truth. In the meantime, Gomer’s life became so bad that she sold herself as a slave.

Is that not so with us? We look at what we have and we make the mistake of thinking “Look what I have done for myself in my life!” We loosely acknowledge Him somewhere in the back of our mind (if at all) but we completely leave God out of the equation. We have not acknowledged that God has given us the ability to get what we have – jobs, money, cars, homes, etc. We make the mistake of hollowly and surfacely “thanking God” for what we have while at the same time we are not willing to follow in HIS precepts for our lives. We think that because we have everything and all is well in our life — no major crises and no drama — all is ok… Surely God is pleased with us or things would be all wrong! Surely I must be doing the will of God in my life because life couldn’t be better! Know this – God gives even to the wicked their food and rain for their land. How much more should we the righteous be blessed BECAUSE we follow and serve HIM and not our “things.” Our “things” are to be used to His glory and for His purpose and we are to acknowledge HIM as the giver of all we have. A very hard lesson to learn: The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away… Time for a reassessment of where we place our value. If you don’t, expect to run headlong into a wall so hard it will knock you off your feet. Expect to meet God in class for Wilderness 101 Training.

Back to Hosea and Gomer…

We judge Gomer’s behavior and shake our heads at how far down she had gone in her life – and if we were to go by all the worldly accounts and feelings and current societal values and teachings, there aren’t many people who would offer one single penny found on the street to buy back their wayward spouse and bring them home in love and forgiveness to nurture them back spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally. There aren’t many who would exhibit the grace of God through forgiveness and mercy. What happens is the good old fashioned “escape clause*” becomes just that – an escape. We run far and we run fast – and we run taking everything we can even if it costs us everything we are and everything we own. We’ll fight till hell freezes over to take every last dime in a divorce court. The children be damned! The children become pawns in an all-consuming and maddening rampage that destroys their tender souls. Everything be damned! Anger takes over. Bitterness sets in. And you live your life in a state of prideful, seething hatred that oozes out of every pore in your body not realizing you’re a slave to darkness and a prisoner of your own making. Yes. I said that… (*See also my blog post on Fornication vs Adultery)

And satan laughs in his hell…

The spiritual and physical applications with respect to God’s relationship to Israel are the same to the husband-wife relationship. That is the profound meaning of the mystery in Ephesians 5. The Book of Hosea here also has a redemptive meaning in regard to the relationship between God and each individual. For the purpose of this blog, I am speaking in the allegory of Marriage and the redeeming power of reconciliation through the same power of forgiveness.

So You Think You Want to Stone Your Wayward Spouse…

Ok. So you’ve established a problem. What’s next? Spiritual warfare. Why? Because that’s what it’s going to take. Because God commands us to love and to forgive. There are no clauses in these two commands. God doesn’t command you to love your spouse so long as they are behaving to your standards. God doesn’t command you to forgive only if you feel like it. God commands us to love and forgive because HE did that for us. Because the wayward spouse is STILL your one-flesh spouse by Covenant Vow with God and with each other — till death do you part. (another blog for later…)

Forgiveness is the “in thing” folks. Stoning went out when the adulteress was caught in the act, brought before the masses for stoning to death as was their Law; used to test Jesus and her death sentence abandoned! Why? There was no one left standing there who could cast one stone at her for each of her accusers had sinned as well. Sin is sin. I’m not suggesting that any one sin is more offensive or less offensive – but rather that ALL sin is offensive to God. The adulteress was forgiven. She was no longer an adulteress. She was set free and told to go and sin no more. She had to accept her forgiveness in faith and it was credited to her as righteousness because Christ had not yet died for the sins of man. By faith she accepted that and after the death, burial and resurrection of Christ, she was redeemed because of His blood.

So you can’t stone your wayward spouse – at least not in the technical sense. An attempt at warped humor – but God has all the arsenal that any one human could ever need at their disposal to get someone’s attention. God has a few rocks of His own to throw. I like knowing that there are God-sized rocks if I need them. But I let God throw them. –> This is not something that can be misused or abused. God knows the state of your heart before you ever try to bring hellfire and brimstone down upon your wayward spouse! He won’t let you do it. Vengeance belongs to God.

(A side note about the free will of man with regard to a wayward spouse: If you are a child of God, you gave up your right to the freedom of your own will. You gave Christ ownership of your life. He bought and paid for it in His blood. You may continue to exert your “right” but God has a way of making your “will” line up with His. Once you realize that, you actually find that you do have freedom because you are walking in His light. If you aren’t a child of God, you may think you have free will to do what you want — and I guess in a sense you do — but you are a slave to what controls you. You are a slave to your father, the father of lies and your will lines up with his.)

Before you can do any spiritual warfare, you MUST be in right standing before God. Get rid of all anger, hatred, bitterness and unforgiveness. Get rid of every malicious thought and rude attitude. You cannot pray in this condition. You are in a state of unforgiveness. God will NOT hear you; neither will He forgive you your own sins until you confess them and repent. Yes those are sins. They are the opposite of the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness and self-control). You have sins of your own and it is important to keep short accounts with God because we are responsible to God only for ourselves. You are your brother’s keeper only through prayer…

²⁵“Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.

²⁶ But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions.”

(Mark 11:25-26 NASB)

If you’re having a difficult time with forgiveness, it is imperative that you seek the Face of God on this. Forgiveness is a command. It’s not about how you feel or whether or not you think the other person deserves it. God is very clear on this. If you don’t want to forgive another for their transgressions against you – no matter how gross you judge the transgression on their part – remember that this is a definite issue of obedience to a command of God. If you can’t forgive, it’s because you won’t forgive. God enables us to do what He commands. Your lack of forgiveness is an issue with authority and this is between you and God – not between you and the one who slighted you in their transgression. Know this for certain: If a wayward spouse has come to repentance and confession before God, God HAS FORGIVEN them for He is faithful and just to forgive those who call upon Him in spirit and truth. Who are we to withhold that forgiveness? Certainly our pride is standing in the way of our relationship with our God and is a testament to the standing judgment against us until we repent and confess it in Truth seeking forgiveness as well. What is noteworthy is that HE forgave us no matter how gross the transgression we have committed against Him. He forgave us freely and set us free. We must do the same. Yes we can be angry. But it’s what we do with that anger that determines who we will become. We can’t be full of love and still have hatred nor can we claim to forgive and be full of bitterness at the same time. It’s a definite continual walk in prayer.

Now that you’re in right standing with God in the forgiveness of your wayward spouse, it’s time to call upon the power of God in prayer. Prayer is a dialogue with God. Prayer is a relationship with God. It’s not an automatic pill or a magic spell or potion used to call down the wrath of a mighty God upon someone who has committed some grave act of sin against you. And it’s not about making your own personal demands about what you think God should do. It’s about God’s will. It’s about our relationship with God. It’s not a one-time prayer. This is warfare. The battle isn’t over until God says it’s over. Be prepared to hunker down in your prayer bunker. It could get nasty… Especially since you are fighting for the soul of a loved one who is one in flesh. The devil won’t give up his territory easily and go quietly into the night. Expect resistance. But most importantly – expect GOD!

Judgments and Promises

Read again the verses in Hosea, Chapter 2, Verses 6 through 23.

Notice verses 8 through 13 represent God’s judgments and divine pressure applied in steering a wayward Gomer back to her God and then to her husband. God can and will remove all the “props,” one by one, in order to get the attention of one of His wayward children. Gomer used her God-given blessings of wealth and prosperity on the lusts of her flesh, spending them on her manmade gods and idols. God reduced her life to near nothing; exposed her life for what it was; stopped all her partying and celebrations; and took away her pagan loyalties and her ability to make her wages. It got so bad that she sold herself as a slave in order to survive. She had been literally brought into a dry, barren spiritual wilderness where God could finally reach her and lovingly bring her back from the depths of her depravity – the depths to which she had sank through her vices. God in His mercy brought Gomer back home. And it cost Him more than we could ever imagine it would cost us.

Verses 14 through 23 represent redemption and restoration. The things that God took from Gomer to get her attention were restored to her when she came back into a right relationship with GOD and acknowledged GOD as her sole source for life. She was also restored and reconciled to her husband, Hosea. And because God restored Israel to Himself (Gomer to Hosea) the relationship was that much more precious and more than it ever was in the beginning.

God will do the same for you – and for me. I stake my very breath on the promises of God. Amen

What to Expect

Some characteristic results of praying the Hedge of Thorns prayer include: (Insert your Spouse’s Name in the Scriptures while praying them.)

• Your spouse may become confused and lose perspective:

“Therefore I will block (spouse’s name) path with thornbushes; I will wall (him/her) in so that (s/he) cannot find (his/her) way.” (Hosea 2:6 NIV)

• Others who might be looking for a relationship or already are in a relationship with your Covenant spouse will lose interest:

“(Spouse’s name) will chase after (his/her) lovers but (s/he) will not catch them; (spouse’s name) will look for them but (s/he) will not find them.” (Hosea 2:7a NIV)

• Troubles may increase as God encourages your Covenant Marriage Mate to return to the Marriage:

(Spouse’s name) will say, “I will go back to my (husband/wife) as at first, for then I was better off than now.” (Hosea 2:7b NIV)

Prayer

“Heavenly Father, I ask You in the Name and through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ, to rebuke and bind satan and his minions and hindering spirits on assignment against my (husband/wife), the rebuilding of this marriage and against this family. I ask you to build a “hedge of thorns” around my (husband/wife), so that nothing but the power and truth of Your Holy Spirit can enter. I pray that through this hedge of thorns, that any other possible or potential lover will lose interest and depart running away and not be found or sought after. I pray that any potential lover suddenly become ugly and disgusting in _________’s (name spouse) sight as all sin is ugly and disgusting in Your sight -and that none will compare to the beauty of (his/her) own mate as Your Bride the Church is to You.

I base this prayer on Your Word which says:

“For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce & marital separation and him who covers his garment with violence.” (Malachi 2:16 AMP); “but if {they} do divorce, let {them}…..be reconciled…” (1Cor7:10-11 AMP); and live in accordance with Ephesians 5:21-33, one in flesh and one with Christ for we are His body, the Church, and His Bride; because we were created as “…one flesh” in the beginning. (Genesis 2:24); for You command that “what God has joined together, let  man not separate, put asunder or divide.” (Matthew 19:6 NIV).

I stand upon the promises and precepts of Your Word as it is written that the Father may be glorified in and through the Son. In Jesus’ Name I ask it in faith believing.

Amen

© 2009 Celia Ann. All rights reserved by Celia Ann and The Ephesian Marriage unless otherwise stated. All other symbols are the trademark of their respective owners.