Here are some creative ways to dodge ”that” conversation with your spouse.  You know, the subject that always leads to a fight. Come on, I know you’ve got one…or three.    

1.  “Why is it so hot in here?  Is it hot in here to you?”

2.  “I love making out with you!  Wait, what were we talking about?”

3.  “I would love for you to buy a motorcycle.  Have I ever told you that?”

4.  “This one time when I was seven I got lost in the woods.  There was a bear following me.  I was so scared I couldn’t breathe.  So I started running and running and suddenly-  Well, that’s not important now.  The surgery fixed everything.” 

5.  “You make me so happy.  I just wanted you to know.  Go ahead with what you were saying.”

6.  “Could I hold your hand for a minute?”

7.  “Wow. Have you lost weight?”

8.  “Have you been working out?”

9.  “Let’s hug for five minutes, then talk.  Okay?”

10.  “I smell something burning!”

I was reading a blog by a very inspiring home maker, Stephanie from Keeper of the Home. She had read this article and was as shocked as I am to see that people actually believe that having kids is a selfish thing to do and that it is bad for the planet!!

Recently, I read the book Married for God by Christopher Ash, and he actually spends a whole chapter on whether we should have kids or not. He point out that children are a blessing, not a curse and that God blessed us by saying in Genesis 1:28: “be fruitful and multiply”. This said, it is also vital that we raise our children to love, honour and serve Him.

Christopher Ash says: “The Bible’s perspective is that we ought to want children in marriage because we want to serve God. The blessing of children is an important practical way in which a married couple can serve God in their marriage. Fundamentally we are to desire children neither because we find them adorable (if we do), nor because others expect us to have children (if they do), but because we understand that this is how God populates his ‘garden’ with ‘gardeners’ to care for it.”

Is this not the greatest blessing and honour that the Creator of the World would entrust His gifts to us, to raise in His way, to be more like Him and to serve His kingdom?

It is important to raise your children to respect the earth and to live as simply as possible. If we see to it that we raise our kids in the footsteps of the Father, how then can it be bad for the earth? On the contrary, won’t the world benefit from more godly, environmentally conscious people?

My dad just sent me this story via email, and I thought its a great idea, and we should all put it into practice. Life would be so much more pleasant if we did.

“I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after he had just finished a rough first day on the job - a flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric drill quit and his ancient one ton truck refused to start.

While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.

On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands.

When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children
and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

‘Oh, that’s my trouble tree,’ he replied ‘I know I can’t help having troubles on the job, but one thing’s for sure, those troubles don’t
belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home and ask God to take care of them’.

‘Then in the morning I pick them up again. Funny thing is’, he smiled, ‘when I come out in the morning to pick ‘em up, there aren’t nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before.’”

How true is that!!

‘Never love unless you can bear with all the faults of man.’ Campion

‘A woman’s heart should be so wrapped up in God that a man has to seek him to gain it.’

‘Love can hope where reason would despair.’ George, Lord Lyttleton

On our wedding day

Knowing what I know now about life and love and marriage, I know that without the grace of my Lord and Saviour, my marriage would not be what it is today. And I would not still be as in love with my husband, because were it for my own strength, I would not be able to feel worthy of his love.

But as a woman saved by Jesus, and loved by the Bridegroom, I know that He chose me to bless my husband in all the ways He intended. I thank God for the wonderful man he blessed me with, and I praise Him for His eternal faithfulness. I have alot to learn, but I have the Lord of Love to teach me, and to guide me as I continue to serve my husband.

I am so fed up with immodest people, especially immodest women! There’s the whole flaunting the body issue, and especially for me, there’s the “I want attention” behaviour issue.

My simple Baptist upbringing and my own life mistakes have taught me this: A Christian woman does not draw attention to herself by her actions. If people notice her, it should be because of her modesty, simplicity and virtue, not because she was making a loud ruckus.

Young women especially seem to want that kind of attention. They laugh loudly, shout to each other, say rude things, and generally make an exhibition of themselves. This is not Christian modesty. It is merely vanity. But it is not just young women; I see this behaviour in older women on “girls’ night out,” or any time they want to be the center of attention. This is sparked by envy, envy of those younger, seemingly prettier and more attractive. It is a desperate and unattractive bid for temporary notoriety.

We can’t simply set aside the precepts of modesty and Christian behaviour. We can’t say “On First Day and on certain public occasions, I will dress in modest and demure clothes, but the rest of the time is mine and I will do as I please,” as if all time does not belong to the Lord. We can’t say, “I will not pursue flirting and pleasure outside my marriage, but what happens in my head and thoughts is my own business,” because what we think and imagine becomes all too real, and no thought is secret from God. We may think we keep it private, but the thoughts will play out in how we treat others.

It is time to teach ourselves and our daughters about modesty, modesty of dress, modesty of behaviour, modesty of thought. Christian mothers cannot let their daughters run wild, or even follow the fashions of the world. It is time to pull them back from that dangerous game.

Teach thy daughters this: The body is a temple of God, and just as the Jewish temple was not entered by nonbelievers, and just as the msyteries of the Christian faith are not offered to outsiders, the temple of thy body is sacred space, and not to be revealed and offered to all gawkers and lechers. It is covered up, and saved for the sanctity of marriage.

Likewise, we do not draw undue attention to ourselves, lest we apear worldly and irreligious. We do not give our brothers opportunity to stumble. We hold ourselves separate, and in peace with the world. We are not circus exhibitions, to be admired or engaging for the curious. We speak quietly at all times. We do not shout at home or in public. We do not lose control. We carry the temple with us everywhere.

We do not make ouselves sexual objects for admiration. We practice modesty of the body, and we practice modesty of the mind. Our desire is only for our husbands. We delight in his love and regard, and we do not seek the attention of others. We do not encourage men to behave inappropriately and sexually. We don’t flirt, kiss, or flatter. Our behaviour is appropriate for the situation, and intimacy is not appropriate outside marriage.

Some may see this as harsh and old-fashioned. Pehaps it is, but it is necessary for Christian conduct in a troubled and sinful world.

When I first met my wife she was a widow with three small children.  I was 28 years old.  Though she is a few years older, she looks much younger.  The first meeting was definitely a miracle and blessing from heaven.  A couple of years later on July 31, 1999 I went from being single to having a wife and three children instantly.  We often joked that we were the “Just Add Water Family”.  Despite much prayer, a strong faith in Christ, and a desire to model a Christian marriage, we quickly found out how difficult the transition was as we attempted to blend our homes into one. 

Almost 10 years later we are still in love, still married, and still adjusting to blending our home!  Neither of us thought it would be easy, but neither of us thought it would be this hard either.  We have learned from many mistakes and have shared numerous tears and numerous laughs.  We have survived only through forgiveness and faith in Christ.  While far from perfect, we are thankful for the life we have together.  Our oldest is now 20 years old.  She has a strength and resilience that never ceases to amaze me.  Our middle child is now 16 and has grown into a fine young man.  Our youngest is now 13 and is a daughter that shows unconditional love beyond anyone I have ever known.

In the days and weeks ahead, I will share the many personal lessons that I have learned from this journey of blending two homes.  I will share the joy and the pain which has come from entering into the role of step-dad.  I hope that others will read this and find encouragement, hope, comfort, and strength as they go through their own journey of blending a home.  It has not been easy; however, it has been a journey I would never trade.

The reason for naming my blog “Karen’s Hallelujah blog” is twofold. I found out recently that my mother in law, Ann, has been following my blog intermittently.  Apparently when she refers to my blog when talking  to my husband, she jokingly calls it “karen’s hallelujah blog”.

Her calling my blog that made me chuckle.  I started to think about it more and thought, well, yes it is my Hallelujah blog.  Hallelujah he has saved me!  Hallelujah he has called my name.  Hallelujah he is my Father.

1 Chronicles 16:8-10 (English Standard Version)

David’s Song of Thanks

⁸ Oh give thanks to the LORD; call upon his name;
make known his deeds among the peoples!
⁹Sing to him; sing praises to him;
tell of all his wondrous works!
¹⁰Glory in his holy name;
let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice!

One of the best pieces of step parenting advice that you can get is to use therapy to your benefit. Therapy often is looked at in the wrong way, but it can really be to your advantage. It will give you, your partner and the children a chance to get together and discuss any problems that you may be having.

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step parenting